Monday, December 2, 2013

Personalized Topping

C:  Can I have these two graham crackers?
Me:  Well, set one down and eat the other.  Then, if you're still hungry…
C:  >achoo!<
Me:  Sure, you can have them both.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Building The Skills

In the last week or so, C has been trying to learn to spell on the computer. Today she is trying to write.

Look out, world.

Monday, October 28, 2013

A Little Reminder

C calls her goodnights from her bedroom. Then she adds, "Hey, J! Do you know that I am awesome?"

Thursday, October 24, 2013

After A While

C, leaving the hotel lift on the way to swimming lessons:

See ya later, elevator! Hee hee hee!

Friday, October 18, 2013

On Her Way!

C is throwing a fit because I won't let her fill out a Common Application. You know...the one for colleges.

I don't think they're ready for her yet.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Nothing Much To Do

We are at the kids' swimming lesson. As the instructor guides another student across the pool, C interrupts. "Teacher! TEACHER! I had a boring day at home today."

This explains why I've not had much to post!

Think She'll Change Her Mind One Day

C: I don't like boys. I only like girls. Boys are evil!!

Me: Why are boys evil?

C: Because boys do things I DON'T LIKE!

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Run That By Me Again?

Ah, spring is in the air. The ground is chilly, but the sun warms the legs of the little girl running through the yard with no pants on...

A Whole New World!

C is SO excited.

J needs a book that is only available at a library about half an hour away. This morning I told C that we need to go to a library we haven't been to before.

Now, every few minutes, she comes to me and asks, "When are we leaving? I want to discover the new library! Can we go now?"

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Dental Imbalance

You wish I was videorecording her right now. Unfortunately there is no way to do it given the circumstances.

She has one of those toy microphones that echoes the voice inside of the toy. She's singing this amazing rock song; got great dance moves, too.

"He's got a CAAAAAAAAA-vity! He's got a CAAAAAAAA-vity!
Ooooooh, cavity! Ooooooh, cavity!
He's got one here, he's got one there,
he's got 'em everywhere!
He's got CAAAAAAAA-vities! He's got CAAAAAAA-vities!"

There are an infinite number of verses about all the things he ate and all the times he didn't brush.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

It's Beneath Her

Me: What's all this "Don't tell Momma" stuff?
C: Well...I was not good.
Me: It's always better to tell me yourself instead of waiting for someone else to tell me.
C: Okay. I colored on the wall again. But I AM SORRY!
Me: Well, I forgive you, but you'll have to clean it off.
C: Awwwwwwwwwwh!! DIGNITY!!

On The Menu

C: I love eggs! They're so soft and squishy when you step on them!

Saturday, October 5, 2013

1, 2, 3...

Next time, please remind me. The proper order of the thing is:
1. Ice cream
2. Bath

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Creative

Some kids make Play Doh snakes.  Some try to make animals, or people, or plants, or balls.

C:  Momma, look what I made with my Play Doh!  It's a knife!  Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Why AREN'T They In There?

Bedtime. I open the Bible and wonder aloud where we left off.

"Momma, tonight can we read a story about the penguins of God?"

Monday, September 9, 2013

Better Than Chaos?

Meltdown: the crayons are not in the right order.

She's definitely mine.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

It's A Small World, After All

We're deciding where to go on our upcoming, sudden vacation. As we discuss Hershey, Pennsylvania or Cleveland, Ohio, C is spinning the globe. 

Interrupting, she announces emphatically, "I want to go to Brazil!"

Friday, August 23, 2013

A Relaxing Vacation

Found out today that H's school starts a week later than scheduled. DH decided we have time for a brief vacation.

Me: Where would you like to go, H?
H: I really liked Cincinnati!
Me: How about you, J?
J: Can we go back to Williamsburg?
Me: C, where would you like to go?
C: Oh! I know the perfect place! Let's go to the library!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Perspective

C: Wow, Momma! You have a big butt! Where did you get such a big butt?
Me: Well, for my age, my butt is not very big.
C: Well, but if you were FOUR...
Me: If I was four and my butt was this big, it would be a HUGE BUTT!!!

Good morning, people!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Self Control

This morning C and I had a little conversation (complete with hand-drawn illustrations) about self control vs. mommy control. When we are considering something that is wrong, we decide whether to control ourselves (happy faces) or if mommy will have to control us (angry/sad faces). Either we think, "I probably shouldn't do that," or Momma needs to say, "Go sit in the time-out chair!"

Now, when she starts to do something undesirable, she says, "Oops! Mommy control!' and sits in our comfy chair until she settles down.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS TWO YEARS AGO???

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Energize Her!

What's more energetic than a spirited four-year-old whose indulgent big sister made chocolate chip cookies today?

A spirited, chocolafied four-year-old with new sneakers!

(I should correct that. She says she will call them her SUPER EVERYHING SHOES, caps intended!)

Friday, August 9, 2013

Likeminded!

A sleepy-eyed C stands at the top of the stairs.

"Momma? I want to sleep all day. While you're stretching, in the car, on the couch..."

Me, too, baby. Me, too.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Better You Than Me

To all my neighbors within a 5 mile radius:

Yes, those are my kids screaming and shrieking in my yard. 
No, I won't send them back in - it's much louder inside, trust me. 
And in case you're thinking this will all end soon because school starts in a few weeks...we homeschool. Bwa ha ha ha!

Why I'm Addicted To Coffee

8:52 a.m.

C: Hey, Mom?
Me: Yes?
C: There is no time for silence.

Sigh.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Let Them Eat Cake!

Missed my workout today, so had two slices of cake instead.

This post was precipitated by a trip to the bank with C, where we had to wait "quietly" for 15 minutes, then were given a number of brightly colored lollipops.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

A Hard-Earned Title

Wednesday is C's birthday.

C: Momma, tomorrow after Wednesday, I'm going to give you a medal!
Me: Aw, thanks!
C: And it will say "Super, Super Mom" on the shiny part!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Something In Common With A Monkey

C (having a bedtime snack): Hey, Momma!
Me: Yeah, honey?
C: The man with the yellow hat really should watch George. He should watch him! But he doesn't. And it's bad, bad, bad, bad! The man with the yellow hat isn't doing a good job.

And she wonders why I don't let her out of my sight much...

Friday, July 26, 2013

That's Good Enough For Me!

"Wedgie, wedgie, wedgie starts with W!!"

A whole new take on an old Cookie Monster song!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Tangled

I'm brushing her hair. I ask her to look up at the ceiling. She does so, then squinches up her face in an agonized look and tenses her entire body before I can commence brushing.

Me: You're so dramatic.
C: You're so grab-ic!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

In Which She Takes Responsibility

C, tipping her table and yelling at the top of her lungs: I'm the bad, bad mood-er!

This explains so very much.

Monday, July 22, 2013

There's No "Speak Softly" Involved, Either

Me to C: A yardstick is NOT a weapon of vengeance!
Me to DH: When things are stored on top of the refrigerator...
DH: ...there's usually a reason. Got it.

I think that, since he gave it to her, he should have to watch her until he puts it back!

A Picture Paints 10,000 Words

If you want to know how messy your house truly is, just let your small child wander around taking photos at will. 

So, so thankful that she said, "I don't want my potos on Facebook, okay?"

Great Expectations

Me: C, please close the refrigerator!
C: But I just want something to eat!
Me: Well, come talk to me about it, then.
(Refrigerator door closes and she walks slowly into the room, contemplating what to say.)
C: Well, I don't want a lollipop because they are sugar. So I will eat something with protein in it and THEN you will give me a lollipop. Okay?

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Deep Pockets

We saw Despicable Me 2 last week at the theater. We rarely go to the movies, so C had only seen one or two before. She knows her birthday is coming up soon, so today she asked me for a really, really big TV, like the one we saw the minions on, for her birthday.

Questionable Modesty

What fun is a flouncy, flowery dress if you can't pull the front up over your face when you laugh?

(And no, I don't wear dresses - at least not flouncy, flowery ones!)

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Good News, Bad News

Today C is a ninja. 

Positive: She's being quiet and sneaky.

Negative: She's being quiet and sneaky.

Friday, July 19, 2013

It's All In The Way You Say It

We have an old CD of children's songs that teach Bible verses, and we listen to it in the car sometimes. C really loves it.

Today, after a very long morning, I told her to go upstairs and change her clothes. She gave me her defiant face, stomped her foot, and began whining about everything in general and nothing in particular. I told her that I was tired of her attitude and I needed her to stop whining and giving me faces. Then I sent her upstairs.

I followed her a few minutes later. When I walked into her room, she was sitting on the floor in her natural state . She looked me right in the eye and quoted a verse. "Quench not the spirit!"

Now it's time to find a CD of Christian hermeneutics songs, I think.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Things Are Seldom What They Seem

C: Mommy, what is your favorite thing to do?
Me: Hmmmm...well, I love to read.
C: You do? What else?
Me: ...well...
C: I know! You love to exercise!
Me: No, I hate to exercise.
C: Oh! But you LOVE to wash dishes!
Me: Well, no...I hate to wash dishes, too.

Hmmmm…

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Techno-Kid

C has my cell phone. 

C: Hey Momma, it looks like Mrs. H****** called and left a message. I'll give you the phone to call her back when I finish my game.

...a little later

C: Oh! Mrs. W******* texted you. Want me to read it to you?
Me: No, just give me the phone.
C: No! I need to finish this level first!

...and later

C (shining a bright light in my eyes): Look, Mommy! Hee hee! (Click)

It's a little weird to have my not-quite-4-year-old using my phone better than I do!

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Getting Rid Of Stuff!

We've been hiding our plans for a yard sale from C, assuming that she would vehemently fight having her things sold.

We shouldn't have worried.

She found out about it Thursday. She volunteered her tricycle, her ride-on pony, her Sit-N-Spin, any number of small toys and stuffed animals, and just about anything else she found lying around.

Today was the sale. She saw her stuff being carted away, and is still finding things she wants us to sell.

I sure hope she keeps this philosophy! She'll be the first family member ever with the natural-declutterer gene mutation!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Rock On!

We've changed the rules of hide and seek so that we hide an object instead of a person. Today's object is a toy airplane, and I hid it in the closet where we keep our shoes and coats.

C: I can't find it! I need a hint.
Me: It's where we go to get ready to leave the house.
C: The car! The garage!
Me: No...before we go outside, we get ready to leave. Where do we go?
C: In the kitchen!
Me: No...before we go anywhere, we do something.
C: We open the door!
Me: Well, we do, but there's something we do before that. Whenever we go anywhere in the car, what do we put on?
C: I know! THE RADIO!!!

This is what happens when your teens hog the audio controls in the car!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

My Mini-Me!

Some little girls play grocery store, and load up their shopping carts with pretend milk, bread, and eggs.

Some little girls play restaurant, and take orders, cook, and serve.

My little girl plays Dunkin Donuts drive-thru, and orders Coolattas, Munchkins, and coffee.

I've trained her well.

Tech 101

Bad Momma Day: taught C how to load the DVD player and use the remote.

I will regret this one day (probably tomorrow), but it's all good now.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

From Point A to Point B

Sigh. Another literalist. Why must my genes be so strong?

C: Momma, may I have some more ham?
Me: Sure! Why don't you just run into the kitchen and get some?
C: We don't RUN!
Me: Well, I didn't really mean run. I just meant hop up and go get the ham.
C: Oh! Okay!! (Jumping) Hop, hop, hop...

Friday, June 21, 2013

Swan Song

Went to the zoo today. There is a fenced-off section called "backyard wildlife" where local ducks, turtles, etc. are kept. A pair of swans must have laid eggs in one of the nesting boxes, because the area within 3 feet or so of the nesting box was roped off with caution tape.

Caution tape is merely a challenge to some people.

C pushed her body into the tape to see how close she could get without actually going underneath it. Almost immediately, a swan stuck its neck out and HONKed at her. She jumped back a bit, then pointed at the swan and said, "Momma, that one is STRETCHY!"

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Gotta Dance!

When H&J were little, I'd see moms pushing one of those big shopping carts with the plastic car on the front, only the car was empty and the kid was cavorting in the store aisle, and I'd think, "Oh, I'd NEVER put up with that!"

Then yesterday came. I was pushing this wheeled behemoth through the aisles when I saw her sparkly jelly sandal poke through the door of the plastic car.

Me: Put your foot back in the car, honey!
C: But Momma! I need to get out!
Me: I think you need to stay in! Why do you want to get out?
C: Because I need to dance to the MUSIC!

Perhaps other customers thought there was something wrong with my head as I pushed the cart with the empty car through the store. I like to think, though, that if someone actually wants to appreciate and enjoy the piped-in store music, more power to her!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Just Imagine...

C and I were in the car on our way to pick up H.

C: Let me tell you about my mother. She's got blue eyes - like me! - and pink hair. She has brown arms, and she has red toes, and she even has a green back! She's very pretty. She's so pretty! But sometimes she exercises and then she takes a shower, and then her colors wash off and I am sad because she is not so beautiful then, and I miss my colorful mother.

Sometimes her imaginings are pretty weird!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Complimentary?

C: Momma, I love your hair. It's so soft.
Me: Thank you!
C: Like a blanket.
Me: Thank you.
C: Or like a squirrel's tail!
Me: ...uh...thank you?

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Knows Her Way Around A Kitchen

We took my husband to Olive Garden for Fathers' Day dinner. We were seated quickly, but the restaurant was crowded. The waitress took our order. When C ordered, she refused to look at the waitress and hid behind me, as usual. The restaurant didn't carry french fries, so the waitress recommended grapes as a side dish, which C heartily agreed with.

The waitress put our order in. C became a little too excited about the grapes, mentioning them every few minutes. "Where are my grapes?" she asked me when we got our salad, our bread, and whenever there was a lull in the conversation.

After a few more minutes, the waitress returned to our table. "The kitchen is a bit backed up," she said, "but your orders will be out as soon as possible."

C, usually so afraid of strangers, looked her straight in the eye and said, "Grapes don't need to be cooked!"

Friday, June 14, 2013

Traveling Companion

The other day, Daddy was walking to the laundry room to get something. C asked where he was going. Daddy replied with the fairly standard, "Crazy! Wanna come?" Of course, C followed him.

Now, every single time Daddy walks through the living room, C jumps up and yells, "Are you going CRAZY?! 'Cuz I wanna come, too!!" and follows him like a puppy.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Tempting!

Today in our Bible story book we read the story of Adam and Eve.  The writer was very descriptive - telling how God instructed them to eat anything they wanted except the fruit of the one tree in the middle of the garden.  She used very clear imagery when describing how the snake tempted Eve, and how wonderful the fruit looked.  When the snake informed Eve that the fruit would allow Adam and Eve to be as intelligent and wise as God Himself, C interrupted.

C:  Momma?
Me:  Yes, honey?
C:  I was wondering...can I have an apple?

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Deductive Reasoning

We're reading a book called Little Visits With God. The first page has a picture of a boy who looks anxious. In the background we see a baseball bat, glove, and ball. The foreground is filled with a picture of a door with shattered glass where the window should be.

Me: Oh, no! Look at this picture!
C: The window is BRO-ken!!
Me: How does the boy feel?
C: He looks upset!
Me: What do you see on the ground?
C: A baseball bat!! And a ball!
Me: What do you think happened here?
C: The window got broken!
Me: How do you think it happened?
C: I don't know! Maybe a gorilla did it!!

I think we need to watch more Blue's Clues.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

DaVinci


"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, and Jesus!!!"

She's looking at a small reproduction of DaVinci's Last Supper and naming all the people. LOL!!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Bedtime Discussion

How do sharks and whales eat people?

Why do we have one nose with two holes?

I need to take my shorts off when I sleep, but I don't need a law about my shirt. (She leaves it on, BTW.)

The Seat Of Emotion

C takes a little tumble on the stairs, landing on her backside.

Me: Are you okay?
C: Yes, I'm fine. (Rubbing her bottom) Just hurt my...feelings...a little!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A Cautionary Tale

C: I am ANGRY!!!!
Me:I know.
C: So I won't be a part of your family any more.
Me: You won't?
C: No! Do you know the story about anger and anger?
Me: No.
C: Well, there were two happy children, until they got anger, and anger, and ANGER, and ANGER, and ANGER!!! And then their house blew down.

I think she's pretty mad!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A Gand Bircus

C: Hand and...gand! They rhyme!
Me: If only gand was a word. But sand is a word, and it rhymes.
C : And band, and bland, and land! Hmmmmmm...what rhymes with circus?...Oh! I know! Bircus!!!
Me: But that's not a word, either.
C: Yes it is! It's when you have a ball of dodge and you throw it at a bad guy. See? It IS a word!

There you have it, just in time for your next dodge ball game with bad guys!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Give Peace A Chance

Someone pass the heavy-duty earplugs!!!

J is cleaning the living room, loudly "de-duh-de"-ing the song "Eye Of The Tiger." C is following him around with a ladle and plastic container, whacking it and yelling, "Volume control!! YOU NEED VOLUME CONTROL!"

The irony might just kill me. At least my ears will have some peace!

Friday, May 31, 2013

Tattletale

C has some index cards and a pencil. She's making lots of random scribbles on the card.

Me: What are you doing?
C: I'm writing a letter!
Me: What does it say?
C: It says, "Dear Momma, I love you very much! But if you take my toys away I will tell Daddy. But I love you anyway."

I didn't touch the toys - honest!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Oh, my!

C: Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Me: STOP!!

J: C, saying things over and over and over again gets on Mommy's nerves.

C: Oh, dear!!

A New Clean Up Song

J made up a new song for C:

When we spill
We wipe it up
We don't lick it off the table

At least she likes the oatmeal!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Waterbed

Me: C, you need to lie down:
C: But Mommy, I'm imaginationing that my bed is filled with penguins and ducks!

Twinkle Toes - Ouch!

Pass me the Bad Mom Award, please!

I take J to classes every Wednesday. On the way there, C asked to take her shoes off. I told her to wait until we returned home after J's classes were finished.

When we arrived at classes, she again asked if she could take her shoes off. I reminded her that we don't take off our shoes anywhere but at home or outside.

Finally, after about an hour, she said, "Momma, if a girl's feet have sparklies going around and around and around them, don't you think she should be allowed to take off her shoes?"

Then it all hit me in a flash - all the typical "C has suddenly outgrown her shoes" symptoms - severe in-toe-ing, dragging the tops of her shoes along as she walks, walking on her toes. I've been seeing all these symptoms for about a week now (along with frequent requests to remove the shoes) and have ignored them!

I told her to go ahead and take them off, and she was quite upset that the "sparklies" didn't go away, so I had her flex and stretch her toes until she felt better.

Oops!