Me: What's all this "Don't tell Momma" stuff? C: Well...I was not good. Me: It's always better to tell me yourself instead of waiting for someone else to tell me. C: Okay. I colored on the wall again. But I AM SORRY! Me: Well, I forgive you, but you'll have to clean it off. C: Awwwwwwwwwwh!! DIGNITY!!
Found out today that H's school starts a week later than scheduled. DH decided we have time for a brief vacation.
Me: Where would you like to go, H? H: I really liked Cincinnati! Me: How about you, J? J: Can we go back to Williamsburg? Me: C, where would you like to go? C: Oh! I know the perfect place! Let's go to the library!
C: Wow, Momma! You have a big butt! Where did you get such a big butt? Me: Well, for my age, my butt is not very big. C: Well, but if you were FOUR... Me: If I was four and my butt was this big, it would be a HUGE BUTT!!!
This morning C and I had a little conversation (complete with hand-drawn illustrations) about self control vs. mommy control. When we are considering something that is wrong, we decide whether to control ourselves (happy faces) or if mommy will have to control us (angry/sad faces). Either we think, "I probably shouldn't do that," or Momma needs to say, "Go sit in the time-out chair!"
Now, when she starts to do something undesirable, she says, "Oops! Mommy control!' and sits in our comfy chair until she settles down.
Yes, those are my kids screaming and shrieking in my yard. No, I won't send them back in - it's much louder inside, trust me. And in case you're thinking this will all end soon because school starts in a few weeks...we homeschool. Bwa ha ha ha!
C (having a bedtime snack): Hey, Momma! Me: Yeah, honey? C: The man with the yellow hat really should watch George. He should watch him! But he doesn't. And it's bad, bad, bad, bad! The man with the yellow hat isn't doing a good job.
And she wonders why I don't let her out of my sight much...
Me: C, please close the refrigerator! C: But I just want something to eat! Me: Well, come talk to me about it, then. (Refrigerator door closes and she walks slowly into the room, contemplating what to say.) C: Well, I don't want a lollipop because they are sugar. So I will eat something with protein in it and THEN you will give me a lollipop. Okay?
We saw Despicable Me 2 last week at the theater. We rarely go to the movies, so C had only seen one or two before. She knows her birthday is coming up soon, so today she asked me for a really, really big TV, like the one we saw the minions on, for her birthday.
We have an old CD of children's songs that teach Bible verses, and we listen to it in the car sometimes. C really loves it.
Today, after a very long morning, I told her to go upstairs and change her clothes. She gave me her defiant face, stomped her foot, and began whining about everything in general and nothing in particular. I told her that I was tired of her attitude and I needed her to stop whining and giving me faces. Then I sent her upstairs.
I followed her a few minutes later. When I walked into her room, she was sitting on the floor in her natural state . She looked me right in the eye and quoted a verse. "Quench not the spirit!"
Now it's time to find a CD of Christian hermeneutics songs, I think.
C: Mommy, what is your favorite thing to do? Me: Hmmmm...well, I love to read. C: You do? What else? Me: ...well... C: I know! You love to exercise! Me: No, I hate to exercise. C: Oh! But you LOVE to wash dishes! Me: Well, no...I hate to wash dishes, too. Hmmmm…
We've changed the rules of hide and seek so that we hide an object instead of a person. Today's object is a toy airplane, and I hid it in the closet where we keep our shoes and coats.
C: I can't find it! I need a hint. Me: It's where we go to get ready to leave the house. C: The car! The garage! Me: No...before we go outside, we get ready to leave. Where do we go? C: In the kitchen! Me: No...before we go anywhere, we do something. C: We open the door! Me: Well, we do, but there's something we do before that. Whenever we go anywhere in the car, what do we put on? C: I know! THE RADIO!!!
This is what happens when your teens hog the audio controls in the car!
Sigh. Another literalist. Why must my genes be so strong?
C: Momma, may I have some more ham? Me: Sure! Why don't you just run into the kitchen and get some? C: We don't RUN! Me: Well, I didn't really mean run. I just meant hop up and go get the ham. C: Oh! Okay!! (Jumping) Hop, hop, hop...
Went to the zoo today. There is a fenced-off section called "backyard wildlife" where local ducks, turtles, etc. are kept. A pair of swans must have laid eggs in one of the nesting boxes, because the area within 3 feet or so of the nesting box was roped off with caution tape.
Caution tape is merely a challenge to some people.
C pushed her body into the tape to see how close she could get without actually going underneath it. Almost immediately, a swan stuck its neck out and HONKed at her. She jumped back a bit, then pointed at the swan and said, "Momma, that one is STRETCHY!"
When H&J were little, I'd see moms pushing one of those big shopping carts with the plastic car on the front, only the car was empty and the kid was cavorting in the store aisle, and I'd think, "Oh, I'd NEVER put up with that!"
Then yesterday came. I was pushing this wheeled behemoth through the aisles when I saw her sparkly jelly sandal poke through the door of the plastic car.
Me: Put your foot back in the car, honey! C: But Momma! I need to get out! Me: I think you need to stay in! Why do you want to get out? C: Because I need to dance to the MUSIC!
Perhaps other customers thought there was something wrong with my head as I pushed the cart with the empty car through the store. I like to think, though, that if someone actually wants to appreciate and enjoy the piped-in store music, more power to her!
C: Let me tell you about my mother. She's got blue eyes - like me! - and pink hair. She has brown arms, and she has red toes, and she even has a green back! She's very pretty. She's so pretty! But sometimes she exercises and then she takes a shower, and then her colors wash off and I am sad because she is not so beautiful then, and I miss my colorful mother.
We took my husband to Olive Garden for Fathers' Day dinner. We were seated quickly, but the restaurant was crowded. The waitress took our order. When C ordered, she refused to look at the waitress and hid behind me, as usual. The restaurant didn't carry french fries, so the waitress recommended grapes as a side dish, which C heartily agreed with.
The waitress put our order in. C became a little too excited about the grapes, mentioning them every few minutes. "Where are my grapes?" she asked me when we got our salad, our bread, and whenever there was a lull in the conversation.
After a few more minutes, the waitress returned to our table. "The kitchen is a bit backed up," she said, "but your orders will be out as soon as possible."
C, usually so afraid of strangers, looked her straight in the eye and said, "Grapes don't need to be cooked!"
Today in our Bible story book we read the story of Adam and Eve. The writer was very descriptive - telling how God instructed them to eat anything they wanted except the fruit of the one tree in the middle of the garden. She used very clear imagery when describing how the snake tempted Eve, and how wonderful the fruit looked. When the snake informed Eve that the fruit would allow Adam and Eve to be as intelligent and wise as God Himself, C interrupted.
Me: Yes, honey?
C: I was wondering...can I have an apple?
We're reading a book called Little Visits With God. The first page has a picture of a boy who looks anxious. In the background we see a baseball bat, glove, and ball. The foreground is filled with a picture of a door with shattered glass where the window should be.
Me: Oh, no! Look at this picture! C: The window is BRO-ken!! Me: How does the boy feel? C: He looks upset! Me: What do you see on the ground? C: A baseball bat!! And a ball! Me: What do you think happened here? C: The window got broken! Me: How do you think it happened? C: I don't know! Maybe a gorilla did it!!
C: I am ANGRY!!!! Me:I know. C: So I won't be a part of your family any more. Me: You won't? C: No! Do you know the story about anger and anger? Me: No. C: Well, there were two happy children, until they got anger, and anger, and ANGER, and ANGER, and ANGER!!! And then their house blew down.
C: Hand and...gand! They rhyme! Me: If only gand was a word. But sand is a word, and it rhymes. C : And band, and bland, and land! Hmmmmmm...what rhymes with circus?...Oh! I know! Bircus!!! Me: But that's not a word, either. C: Yes it is! It's when you have a ball of dodge and you throw it at a bad guy. See? It IS a word!
There you have it, just in time for your next dodge ball game with bad guys!
J is cleaning the living room, loudly "de-duh-de"-ing the song "Eye Of The Tiger." C is following him around with a ladle and plastic container, whacking it and yelling, "Volume control!! YOU NEED VOLUME CONTROL!"
The irony might just kill me. At least my ears will have some peace!
I take J to classes every Wednesday. On the way there, C asked to take her shoes off. I told her to wait until we returned home after J's classes were finished.
When we arrived at classes, she again asked if she could take her shoes off. I reminded her that we don't take off our shoes anywhere but at home or outside.
Finally, after about an hour, she said, "Momma, if a girl's feet have sparklies going around and around and around them, don't you think she should be allowed to take off her shoes?"
Then it all hit me in a flash - all the typical "C has suddenly outgrown her shoes" symptoms - severe in-toe-ing, dragging the tops of her shoes along as she walks, walking on her toes. I've been seeing all these symptoms for about a week now (along with frequent requests to remove the shoes) and have ignored them!
I told her to go ahead and take them off, and she was quite upset that the "sparklies" didn't go away, so I had her flex and stretch her toes until she felt better.