Monday, October 31, 2011

Big and Not Big

Last week we celebrated my husband's birthday. I was changing C's diaper just before bed when she began a conversation about ages.
C: I am two!
Me: Yes, you are!
C: And you are 45!
Me: Uh...yeah.
C: How old is Daddy?
Me: 46.
C: 46! That's a big number! But daddy is a big man.

I'm really, really glad that she doesn't seem to think 45 is a big number!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A Good Time To Be All Talk

Fart. That's a funny word! Isn't it a funny word, Momma? Fart. Fart! I say it again. Fart!

This is a short example of bedtime chit chat as C tries to fall asleep.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Alarm!

Alarm: When your toddler runs into the next room with a pencil and begins spelling her name out loud as you hear scritch-scratching on the wall.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Magnification Required

C's obsession with written words is whimsical but aggravating. She insists I read all kinds of things to her - the dictionary, nutrition facts from the Cheerios box, all the tiny words on the bottom of Matchbox cars and other toys. I need better glasses (and a much bigger reserve of patience)!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Fashion

Bought her some Hello Kitty socks. Now she has to show everyone one foot, then the other. She's also greatly angered at wearing pants, since they cover the tops of her feet and she can't see her Kitties any more.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Tech Support

Last night I was doing the church bookkeeping on the Official Church Computer. We keep it on a table behind the couch so I can work without leaving the room. The computer is out of C's easy reach. She can get into it but knows she is not allowed to.

I left the room briefly to get something. While I was gone, I heard C saying, "I typing my words on your letters, Momma!" Click, click, click. Sure enough, she had climbed onto the couch and leaned over the back, and was punching buttons on my keyboard.

In an effort to stop her from doing any damage, I quickly called out, "C! What are you doing?"

She turned to the screen, swirled the mouse around a bit, and with a look of consternation said, "Momma, it look like you have a problem here."

Saturday, October 15, 2011

No Roast Beef Here

Me: This little piggy went to...
C: Market!!
Me: This little piggy stayed...
C: Home!!
Me: This little piggy had...
C:...Uh...ummmmmm...PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

You've Got A Little Something Right There...

C is getting her molars, so is not sleeping well and is a bit drooly.  She wanted a little break, so I picked her up and she snuggled her cheek on my shoulder.  When she lifted her head, though, my shoulder was a little wet.

She pointed to the damp spot and said,

"Momma, your hug is dirty."

You've Got A Little Something Right There...

C is getting her molars, so is not sleeping well and is a bit drooly. She wanted a little break, so I picked her up and she snuggled her cheek on my shoulder. When she lifted her head, though, my shoulder was a little wet.

She pointed to the damp spot and said,

"Momma, your hug is dirty."

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Play Ball!

C: Momma, can we go onto my living room floor? And I push the ball to you, and you push the ball to me, and I push the ball to you, and you push the ball to me, and I push the ball to you, and you push the ball to me, and I push the ball to you...(you can imagine the rest, I'm sure).

Tattletale

Today she's telling on herself.

"Momma, I standing onna chair inna dining room!"
"I eating my purple Play-Doh, Momma!"
"Momma, I touching your letters on your compooooter!"

Think she wants some attention?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Lip Bomb

C had my chapstick (Burt's Bees). I don't like to let her play with it, but I'm not in a fighting mood (LONG day). Just now she came up to me and said, "Where's my tiny little orange lid?"

Uh oh. She must have opened the chapstick.

I asked the more important question. "Where's my chapstick?"

"I dunno! I do not have it any more! I dunno where it could be!"

Yuck! Sure hope she finds it soon!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Clean Up Time

Me: If you want to play with your puzzles, you have to clean up the Legos.
C (wailing loudly): But I don't wannooooooooo.
Me: Then no puzzles.
C (following me around): But I cryyyyyyyyyyyying!

A little spoiled, ya think?

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Bible: Not To Be Read In Church

Here's my Sunday C story. It's a little long, but I think it's worth it.

We attend a conservative church.  This week some friends of ours visited our church, so I and my daughters sat in the pew right behind them. Naturally we wanted to make a good impression.

After a few minutes, C wanted me to put her down. I don't like to do that but I was afraid she'd become insistent. She immediately picked up the first Bible in the pew, set it in front of her, and leafed through it. "Sweet," I thought, "and very church-appropriate." Once she finished that one, she placed it back in the holder, moved to the middle of the pew, and took the second Bible. She repeated her performance, but began to chat loudly about the Bible and reading it. The congregation was still singing, though, so not many could hear. "Still on pretty good footing here," I thought.

She replaced that Bible and went on to the third, and last, Bible in the pew. This time she set it down, opened it, and said, "Momma! These letters spell words"

"Yes," I replied, "but please be quiet."

"Momma, read me the words on the page. The letters spell words. Read them to me!" Her voice grew louder with each insistence. My signals to "shhhhh!" went unheeded. My gentle suggestion to turn the page met with louder defiance. Finally I decided it would be less distracting if I just read her a verse or two from the page she was on.

Until I saw what portion of scripture it was.

The page was headed "Forbidden Sexual Relations."

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Passing On The Torch


My teen daughter and tween son, J, used to play Space Explorer while we were driving in the car. In official astronaut voices, they'd travel all over the universe, finding aliens (friendly and otherwise) and exploring strange new worlds. My daughter plays along now but lacks a certain enthusiasm.

Last night she was trying to be a good big sister but was falling rather flat. My son said, "Take us to light speed, Lieutenant!"  She didn't reply.  He repeated it several times. "Light speed, Lieutenant! Engage light speed drive!"

Suddenly a little voice piped up. "Light speed is broken, J! No light speed! J! No light speed, big brother!"

Star Trek: The Next Generation? :)

Monday, October 3, 2011

What Does This Spell?

Boy does she want to read. 


"What does this spell? What does this spell? The a says /a/, the c says /k/, the a says /a/...all these letters are WORDS!! What does it spell?"

Big brother finally read it to her. So what did it spell?

"Academic freedom."

A bit ironic!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Another Thing I Never Thought I'd Say

Things I never thought I'd say:

I can't just let you get away with throwing an elephant across the room!