Here's my Sunday C story. It's a little long, but I think it's worth it.
We attend a conservative church. This week some friends of ours visited our church, so I and my daughters sat in the pew right behind them. Naturally we wanted to make a good impression.
After a few minutes, C wanted me to put her down. I don't like to do that but I was afraid she'd become insistent. She immediately picked up the first Bible in the pew, set it in front of her, and leafed through it. "Sweet," I thought, "and very church-appropriate." Once she finished that one, she placed it back in the holder, moved to the middle of the pew, and took the second Bible. She repeated her performance, but began to chat loudly about the Bible and reading it. The congregation was still singing, though, so not many could hear. "Still on pretty good footing here," I thought.
She replaced that Bible and went on to the third, and last, Bible in the pew. This time she set it down, opened it, and said, "Momma! These letters spell words"
"Yes," I replied, "but please be quiet."
"Momma, read me the words on the page. The letters spell words. Read them to me!" Her voice grew louder with each insistence. My signals to "shhhhh!" went unheeded. My gentle suggestion to turn the page met with louder defiance. Finally I decided it would be less distracting if I just read her a verse or two from the page she was on.
Until I saw what portion of scripture it was.
The page was headed "Forbidden Sexual Relations."