Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Bedtime Discussion

C (crying loudly): I want milk!
Me: No milk in bed. I'm sorry!
C: You don't HAVE to be sorry!
Me: You're right, baby.
C: I'm not a baby!
Me: No, you're not.
C: I'm a girl. I'm two!
Me: You're VERY two.
C: Yes!


Dr. Seuss Overload:

When the toddler climbs onto the back of the couch, says, "Would you, could you, in the dark?" and flips off the light.

Monday, November 28, 2011

When life hands you lemons...

C is having a bad day, as in a "squeeze all the bad I possibly can into every stinkin' moment" day.

Hold On For The Ride

C is having a bad day, as in a "squeeze all the bad I possibly can into every stinkin' moment" day.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

She's standing by the window, enjoying the view as well as the warmth from the baseboard heat.  She's got her big sister's ring.  It's banded with various colors.  She turns it around and says, "It's white...and lellow...and green....and blue...and white...and lellow...and green...and blue...and white..."

Suddenly I hear a loud plink.  "Oh, nooooo!"

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She looks down at her empty hand, then back at me.  "Somebody dropped that ring into the heater!"

Love me from a distance

Her new game today is hugging practice. She climbs onto my lap and says, "Big Hug! Wrap your arms around and squeeEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeze!"

Lots of hugging practice going on today!

It would be much more pleasant, though, if she didn't have garlic breath.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Mt. M&Ms

We're watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on Earthcam.  Toddler can't keep her eyes off the M&M Store, which is directly across the street from the camera.  "I want the lellow one!  Or how 'bout the blue one?"

Trying to encourage her to watch the actual parade, I make note of the next float.  "Look!  It's Mount Rushmore!"

"Mmmmmmmmmm!  Muchmore!  Much more M&Ms!"

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Eye of the Beholder

She's adorability itself in her pink footie pajamas. She hugs me tight and asks, "you know what, Mommy?"


She snuggles up against me. "Mmmmmmmm!" with a big grin. "You UG-uh-ly! Hee hee!"

Learning To Lean

Toddler, standing with one foot on a dining room chair and the other foot on the armrest of a living room chair, stretches w-a-y over and precariously reaches toward the dial of the ceiling fan.

Under her breath, I hear her whisper, "...and lean not on your own understanding..."

Monday, November 21, 2011

Hide And Seek?

She figured out how to get into the coat closet and close the folding doors.  For a while we played along, but dinner and homework became pressing issues, so she was left to her own devices for a bit.

She again disappeared into the closet.
"...I see you!  Peek-a-boo!"
Abruptly she threw the door open with a piercing squeal.
"Yay!!  I found me!!"

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Something's Very Wrong

Loud wailing - the kind that puts a mom on red alert.

I rush into the room.  There stands my toddler.  Her body is stiff and tense.  Tears stream down her face.  Her face is the picture of agony.

My voice shows my alarm.  "What is it?  What's wrong?"

Her moaned response:  "I need some chock-oh-lit caaaaaannnnnnndddyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Yeah.  I've had moments like that, too.

Friday, November 18, 2011


Important news flash:

Crayola Twistable crayons are exactly the right size to hold themselves inside a toddler nostril without falling out, yet still get a nice swing going while dancing.

"Hey, momma! See my purple crayon?"
"Look at my lellow crayon, momma!'
"Now I gotta blue one!"

She's on a roll today, folks. She must be feeling better.


We don't play catch with golf balls - especially not in the living room!

The nurse scheduling our pediatrician appointment literally LOLed when she heard me say this. We figured that, by the time my kids arrive at the office, at least one will have a goose egg or black eye.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Cooking Lessons

If one stuffs both a duck and a bear in one's oven, one should not complain if the animals are difficult to remove.

And no, this is actually not MY cooking mistake this time. :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Higher Learning

Toddler's' big thrill of the day? Watching Tween's pre-algebra lesson with him.

Unfortunately, his teacher doesn't sing or dance (nor do Wii remotes affect her actions), so I wonder how long Toddler will watch.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Pricklier and Pricklier

Didn't think it was possible for my prickly-noodle girl to get any pricklier, but there you have it.

Lots of deep, barky coughing all around, too.


She hit me, not because she wants to hit me, but because "I wanna go in my playpen and cuh-RYYYY!"

Monday, November 14, 2011

Not Feeling Well

Some kids, when they are sick, are like a limp noodle.

My Toddler is like a limp noodle with spicy, prickly sauce.


It's nice to hold her all day, but it would be more pleasant if she'd lose the attitude. :)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Budding Artist

I learned an important lesson this morning. If your toddler asks, "May I please draw wiff dis black pencil?" it is wise to put your glasses on and make sure it really is a black pencil (as opposed to, say, a Sharpie marker) that she's holding.

Otherwise, she'll go to church with black fingers and a few extra beauty marks.

And if she says, "Mommy, I drawing onna wall wiff my blue pencil," you might consider that she's being completely accurate.

Friday, November 11, 2011

A Question of Fashion

Stopped at Target today. Walked past their $1 section and picked up some Disney Princess socks, then went to Toddler Girls for some winter church duds.

When we got home, I lay out the two new church outfits - a pretty sweater dress and a sweater/pants combination. I called Toddler over.

Me (gesturing to the clothes): What will you wear to church on Sunday?
Toddler (jumping up and down): Cute socks!!

Guessing Game

C (in a silly mood): Mommy, what am I?
Me: Are you a bug?
C: Nooooo! I am not a bug!
Me: Are you a bear?
C: Nooooo! I am not a bear!
Me: Are you a booger?
C: N....YES! Yes, I am a booger! I am a booger, Mommy!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Drive Thru

I went through the Dunkin Donuts drive thru today on the way to the grocery store. Needed a caffeine fix. I ordered my coffee, and just as I finished, a voice from the back seat called, loud enough for the cashier to hear:

"We wan' a bagel! An' we wan' a chocolate donut, too!"

Monday, November 7, 2011

Momma Brag

She read a sentence yesterday. "The cat and dog play tag." 

Yes, she did.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Oh, To Bee Asleep

Last night I was putting C to bed and, as usual, she was full of chatter. This time it was all about her new favorite hobby.

C:  My name is C*****. C-*-*-*-*-*. Yes! That is my name!
Me: Yep! Now go to sleep.
C (asking about my name): How you spell P*****?
Me: P-*-*-*-*-*. Now go to sleep!
C: How you spell duck? I want to spell duck.
Me: Shhhh! I'll tell you tomorrow. Go to sleep!
C: I want to spell duck! Please tell me how to spell duck! PLEASE!
Me (very quickly): D-U-C-K! Go to sleep!
C: Oh! That how you spell duck! ...How you spell elephant?
Me: I'll tell you tomorrow. Go to sleep!
She asked me how to spell elephant a few more times, but I held off.

Fast forward to this morning. She's causing her usual general mayhem - strewing credit cards from my purse around, sucking on Hannah's lip gloss, and hiding behind the furniture. It's been a long morning already and she's only been awake for two hours. Suddenly she runs over to me.
C: How you spell elephant?? Mommy! How you spell it?
Me: :) E-L-E-P-H-A-N-T
C: Ah! THAT how you spell elephant! I see!
Pause, during which an obvious lightbulb flashes
C: How you spell LITTLE elephant?

Friday, November 4, 2011


I'm home alone with C. So far this is our fun activity:

C: Pbbbbbbt!
Me: What are you doing??
C: 'Pitting on Mommy!
Me: Spitting on Mommy?!
C: Yup! Pbbbbbbbt!

Drama Practice

C's new thing: She brings me whatever she's playing with and asks, "You wan' take dis from me?"
Me: No, thank you!
C: Please take dis from me!
Me: That's okay. You can keep it!
Me: Okay, okay! (I take offered toy)
C: WaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaAAAAH! (Pounding fists on couch; tears flowing)
Me: What's wrong???
C: You take dat from meeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeee!
Me: Well, here, take it back! (Hands it back)
C: Thank you!...(Runs off, finds another toy)...You wan' take dis from me?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Literate Farm Animals

Yesterday we went to C's favorite place in all the world - the library.

Today she is playing with a little barn and some animals. The duck is jumping up and down and singing, "We're going to the 'brary, the 'brary, the 'brary! We're going to the 'brary! We're going right now!"