Matchmaker, Matchmaker...

C: Momma, can I please live with you forever?

Me: Well, you can stay with me for as long as you want. But one day you might have a husband, and he will probably have different ideas about where to live.

C: Oh. Momma, where do you find a husband, anyway? Do you go where all the stray men wander around and just pick one?

She Takes Cooking Seriously

C was getting ready to grate a block of mozzarella.

Me:  The grater is sharp going down, but not sharp going up.
C:  So I need to be careful!
Me:  Yes, sometimes I cut myself.
C:  Oh!  And if I cut myself, I'd have to go to the hospital!
Me:  Well, no...but we'd need to find something to cover the cut with and it would definitely bleed.
C:  Oh. ... Momma, I'd better pray before I do this.

Letter of the Law

C stands at the top of the stairs in a maxi skirt, goofing around and being silly.

Me: Don't do that! You might fall down the stairs! Hold your skirt up.

C: Oh, okay! (Holds up skirt) (Jumps down stairs)

Always Looking To Improve

I went to my husband's office to look for resources for a paper H is writing. While there, I found a parenting book I'd enjoyed while H&J were little, so I decided to bring it home. H asked C to carry it.

C: What's this book?

Me: Oh, it's a book that helps kids who have trouble with being bad to learn to be good.

C: Oh! So it will make you into a good mom?!

Yep. That's one way to look at it, I suppose.

Mixed Reviews

"Nothing's better than a momma."

This could be taken two ways!

Encore!

We borrowed an audio version of the book Mr. Popper's Penguins, along with a paperback, to read in the car.  The audio version proved not to work, so C began reading the paperback aloud.  After two chapters, she stopped.

C:  Whew!  Reading makes me tired!  I'm so thirsty, too.

Me:  That's fine.  You can stop.  But I like the way you read.  You have good pacing, your words are clear, and you really make it sound interesting.

C:  Well...I guess I could read a LITTLE more... :)

DIY

We bought one of those little backyard fire pits last summer, but didn't get to use it until a couple weeks ago.  The first time, DH built up a fire while the kids were inside.  Just before they came out, he threw on some paper and dried leaves for effect.  When C came out, she oohed and aahed, then asked, "Oh!  Can I be the first one to make a sacrifice?"

Testing 1, 2, 3

My C absolutely LOVES math and spelling.  Today we're taking the CAT (standardized testing) and she thinks it's the most fun she's had in a long while.

Winning at homeschooling for once!

Public Eye

Me:  Those shorts don't match with that shirt.  There's a pair of plain orange shorts in your drawer, though.  Please go change.

C:  Momma, you can't make me.  I have my own life.

Me:  Okay, then.  Let me post a photo of you, in that outfit, making your "I have my own life face," on Facebook.

C:  Okay, but let me go change first!

(Is this a win or a fail?  The world will never know!)

Different Meaning

C:  For a mom, you sure are hot!!

Does it matter that we were playing Find The Stuffed Turtle and I was getting very close?

What's In A Name Part 5,678

C, who often goes by her middle name, which is Joy, just asked me to call her "My Dear Little Joy." She doesn't mind if I also call her Puppy or Chickadee.

So Sweet!

C: Momma, can I have some candy?
Me: Sorry...no.
C: But Mommmmmaaaaaa...oh, wait. I already had a cookie today, and sometimes sugar makes me behave badly. So I'd better not!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????????

Strong To The Core

Over breakfast, while H and J are still asleep:

C: Can I turn on the Wii Fit Plus if I turn the volume all the way down?
Me: I don't think so. I'm going to take a shower, then get the big kids up.
C: But, Mom, it says to exercise every day to keep your core strong!!
Me: Oh. Okay, then.

Oh, the shame of having a six year old who is more driven to fitness than I am!

Stall Tactics

C, stalling at bedtime:

What if Jesus had a different name?

I want to be president of Europe when I grow up.

Why do we need to wear clothes?

Enough Already!

C, watching a Khan Academy math video:
OoooOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!
... Okay, now I get it.
... Momma, I get it but he keeps going on and on! How do you stop this thing?

Ironic

This is a poem written by C.

Facebook:
You can talk to people
From faraway places
But you can't see
Their faces

Latin Birds And Bees

C is learning some Latin, and likes to intersperse it into daily conversation. (Latin words are in quotations.)

Today in the car we talked awkwardly about how babies are made. A woman at church brought her week-old baby on Sunday, so C is very curious. Because we were in the car, I explained that a man and woman do a private thing that shows they love each other, and that can sometimes make a baby. She was understandably confused by this, and kept trying to imagine what the private thing might be. I told her that I'd explain when I have our book of body diagrams at home.

Then the conversation moved to C's friend, who just turned seven, and the fact that C will soon be seven, too.

C: G is "sept" now. I will be "sept" soon, too.
Me: Yes, soon!
C: Wow! I'd better really enjoy my "sex" life now while I still can!!

Takes One To Know One

Earlier today we were driving in an unfamiliar area and I asked C to find a speed limit sign for me. This apparently gave her a pass to read ALL the speed limit signs (which, on a day like today, prevents her from saying other, far more frustrating, things).

Later this evening, I drove down a main road in a residential part of town. There have been many accidents in this area, so speed limit enforcement has become a real issue.
C: Speed limit 35!
C (one block further): Speed limit 35!
C (one block further): Speed limit 35.
C (one block further): Just ignore that one. They're just pestering now.

Wild Either Way

C, eating an apple: Sometimes I wish I was a jungle animal. Then I could have no manners! I could do whatever I wanted! Except there would be dangers. Lions, and snakes, and stuff.

We are still undecided as to whether manners or snakes are the bigger issue.

Two Sides To Every Bed

C seems to have discovered the RIGHT side of the bed. After 6 1/2 years of always getting up on the wrong side, I didn't even know there was a right side!

Selective Self-Control

I was telling a friend about the vast difference between C's quiet, sweet demeanor at school and her loud, unruly behavior at home.  My friend was only a little surprised, because the conversation began as Charis was running wildly around the study room where she is normally shy.

As we walked away, Charis turned to me and confided, "Momma?  When I'm at school, I think all of the same thoughts that I think while I'm at home.  But I don't do any of them!"

This is both hopeful news, because she clearly has self control, and disappointing news, because she doesn't exert any at home!

A ... Celebration

C is eating rice cakes (downing her third one now) and requesting to watch Khan Academy geometric rotations videos.

I just don't even know what to say.  Maybe it's Enjoy The Dry Things Day?

It’s Who You Know

J and I are playing a history game called Chronology.  One of us reads a fact, and the other needs to place it in correct order in the set of cards he already has.

Me:  Ho Chi Minh becomes the first president of the Democratic Republic of Vietnam.

J:  I thought Ho Chi Minh was a communist.

C:  Oh!  How do YOU know him?

Simon Says?

C is telling me about her day at school.

"Mrs. B told me to hold the door.  So I held that door!  But then, a while later, another lady that I didn't know asked me if I should be with my class, and told me to go ahead, so I ran to my class."

Uh oh.  Literal Girl strikes again!

What’s In A Name?

We had to run a gazillion errands today.  I asked C to get something to eat before we left, but didn't realize that she never did.  As a result, she was a hangry mess by the time we were at our last couple of stops.

Finally she'd had enough, and confronted me as I paid at the Joann Fabric register.

C:  I am changing my middle name.  You can no longer call me Joy.
Me:  Oh?  What should I call you, then?
C:  I'm changing my middle name to Anger.
Me:  Anger?
C:  Yes.  Anger. >:(
Me:  Well, okay, then, Ang...
C:  WAIT!!  Okay, you can still call me Joy.  But my middle name is Anger.
Me:  All right.  C Anger it is.
C (sighing):  Never mind!  I won't change my name.  But I want you to know that I am ANGRY!
Me:  Yes, I knew.