Monday, December 31, 2012

Temptation

Tonight we discussed the verse where Jesus said, "Watch, therefore, so that you do not fall into temptation."

C: What that mean - fall into "tempation"?
Me: Well, temptation is when you really want to do something even though you know it's bad. Like hitting.
C: Or like screeching!
Me: Yes! Like hitting or screeching. And falling to temptation is when you do the thing anyway, even though you know it's bad and you shouldn't.
C: Oh!...I have a REAL PROBLEM with that!

Foot Fun

Me: Hey, take your feet out of that box of beads, please!
C: No, I won't! They're having SO much fun in there!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

It's bedtime, following a long day of trying to patiently discourage chasing the cat, throwing Matchbox cars, and playing with the vacuum hose. We are reviewing the verse C has been memorizing: Even a child is known by his actions - by whether his conduct is pure and right. 

We spoke of the verse's meaning.

Me: If you do good things people will think of you as a good girl, but if you do bad things, people will think of you as a bad girl.
C: Oh! Am I a good girl or a bad girl?
Me : Well, we all have some good and some bad inside of us. You are...
C: Hilarious!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Stepping Stones

C: I am the TOOTH FAIRY!!

This is very strange, since we are firmly between tooth-losers. I didn't even know she'd heard of the tooth fairy. But carefully connecting the dots here, I'd say that either the tooth fairy rules the universe, or is one in a series of stepping stones to that position. I guess we'll know for sure if, next December, she's Santa Claus.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Her Highness

J, in a hurry to spend his Christmas money: Put your socks on! Put your coat on! Put your stuff on!
C: I RULE THE UNIVERSE!!! DON'T TOUCH ME!!

Folks, I truly have no idea where she got that from.

Throwback


Ha ha ha!! We borrowed some old Hardy Boys DVDs from the library. C is dancing around the living room to Da Doo Ron Ron.

Poth-able

C runs up to me with a big bag of carrots, but slips and does a crazy flip on the way down.

"I meant to do that! It was a poth-able!"

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas

The Christmas Eve service was about half over. The candles at the front of the sanctuary were lit and a scripture was being read as a young soloist in the back pew burst into song: "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty, wasty skunk..."

I hate it when you quietly hush them and they only get louder.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Christmas Science


C is singing "Jingle Bells," but she's changed the words. It would make a great science song (if it isn't one already). She's singing "Single cells, single cells..."

Decorum


We had friends over for dinner after church today. It was bad enough when C announced that she was leaving the table to go to the potty. But she went a bit beyond the usual social restraints for dinner entertainment when she called from above, "Momma! You need to come and see my giant poopy!!"

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Approximately Equivalent

C: I want a banana.
Me: You already had a banana today.
C: Oh. Well, then I'll have a ring pop instead.

Failure To Play

I always put a video on for C while I exercise on my elliptical. My DVD player is old, though, and doesn't accept many of our DVDs. Today she wanted to watch one that we hadn't tried yet. She also called to my attention the fact that it was scratched, so we didn't have a lot of hope.

I put the DVD in the machine, then turned to get my elliptical ready. "Momma," C said, "it's not going to work. The DVD player says 'loss', so it won't play."

We've had this DVD player for years, and I've seen lots of messages, but never that one. I turned to look at the DVD player display.

It was 10:55.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I Guess Moms Can Do Anything!


C: Hey, Momma! Teach me how to fly!

Onomatopoeia

After leaving my makeup brushes all over the living room, C brings me an empty Chapstick container.

C: I used all your chapstick.
Me: You shouldn't have done that. Where is the lid?
C: I don't know. Maybe over there. (Goes to find lid.)
Me: If you can't stay out of my stuff, I can't let you into my room.
C: Pbbbbbbbt!
Me: Go sit on your bed. You don't spit at Mommy.
C (walking to her room): Pbbbbbbbbt! Pbbbbbbbt!
Me: If you spit again, I'll have to spank you.
C: "Spit!" "Spit, spit, spit!"

Sigh.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Or A Month Of Sundays...

C: Hey, Momma, is this week Saturday?

Now THERE is an idea! I hope she holds onto that one for when she's Dictator of the Universe - a week of Saturdays!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Three Wise People

C, playing with our Playmobil Nativity Set:

I am a king. Here is my gold!
I am a king. Here is my frankincense!
I am a queen. I RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Cleaning Help

The cat is lying on my lap as I knit. C sits on the couch next to me. 
C: Oh, look! The cat is licking her paw!
Me: Yes, she is. That's how she gets clean.
Quick as a wink, C leans over, sticks her tongue out and licks the cat's paw.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Amusement


Crying because the library is closed. Guess it's time I planned a trip into our day, instead of putting it off. The library is this kid's Disney.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Advancing My Years

According to C, I'm "olding my age."

Personally, I feel that she's the one responsible for it.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

What's In A Name (Part 6 or so)

C: Momma, why your name is Momma?
Me: Well, a woman has her own name, like Pamela. But when she has a child, then her child calls her Momma, and that becomes like a new name.
C: Or Mommy, or Mom.
Me: Yes! She can be called Momma, or Mommy, or Mom. Or Mother. But Momma, Mommy, and Mom are sweeter and nicer.
C: Oh...Okay, Mother.

Her Own Kind Of Princess

We keep C's hair up in a bun at all times because she tends to chew on it. Last night, I took it down and brushed it out as my teen daughter and I commented on how pretty it was. We happened to be in front of a mirror.

C: Oh! I don't look like me!
Me: Who do you look like?
C: I look like...Rapunzel! Yes! I'm Rapunzel!
(Dances around swinging her long blonde hair for a bit.)
C: Okay. I am done being Rapunzel. Please put my hair up. I want to be C now.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Killjoy

C: I just made up a banammy-magic!
Me: Huh??
C: A banammy-magic!
Me: A what?
C: Never mind. I just made up some silly nonsense. I don't even know what it was. I've forgotten it. So forget about it.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

The Formal Announcement

We are sitting at the table taking a break from J's schoolwork. We're talking about favorite colors, and Christmas, and a variety of other things. Suddenly, C interrupts.

C (very loudly): I WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!
Me (laughing): What did you say?
C (whispering): I said I don't want to rule the universe. Hee hee!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Excuses, Excuses

"Goodness 'stake! A mistake is something that you do, and when something goes wrong. I'm sorry you're frustrated with me, J!"

I probably don't want to know what preceded this statement.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

What's In A Name (Part 4 or 5...)

C is looking through the yet-to-be-earned Squinkies. She gets Squinkies as a reward for behaving in church, and for certain things at home, as well. She has her eye on a little raccoon.

Meanwhile, I've lost the verses that go along with our ornaments for our Jesse Tree (a sort of Biblical advent calendar). I have a trumpet before me, representing the story of Joshua.

Me (searching on Biblegateway.org): Jericho...Jericho...
C: That's what I will name him! Jerko!

Monday, December 3, 2012

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

C: I WANT TO PLAY ON YOUR IPOD!!
Me: Go to your bed. I don't want you to have a fit.
C: I WANT to have my fit. I will go to my bed!! (Turns and walks up the stairs) But I don't want to go to my bed!
Me: But I don't want to see your fit.
C: How many times do I have to tell you? Seven times I've told you. I don't want to sit on my bed! (Repeat another few times). Or I will flip out!!
Me: Oh! Well, then get on your bed. It's a nice, comfortable place to flip out.

Some days, even the despotic dictator can't win.

Friday, November 30, 2012

More Bedtime Prayers...

C: Heav'nly Father, thank You for my Squinkies. And help me stop being bad...What else should I pray?
Me: Please heal Mrs. J and Mrs. L...
C: Please heal Mrs. J and Mrs. L...
Me: And help us want to be like You.
C: And help everyone to be like me! Amen!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Just Do It!


C and her big brother, J, are doing their cardio workouts together.

J (panting): This...is...hard!
C: This...is...hard!
J: Just...keep...going!
C: Just...keep...going!
J: This is...no...trivial...matter!
C: No...trivial...matter!

What are they doing? Well, J is riding a stationary bike. And C is riding a rocking horse. LOL!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

So Very Sweet

Daddy, tucking her in: You're my sweetheart!
Charis: Yes! I am your sweetheart! I'm EVERYONE's sweetheart!

Expanding the Vocabulary

Oh, great. Now she's made up her own word.
Me: Stop pulling my hair.
C: Buttever. Butt. Ever. Buttever! Hahahahaha!

To Care Or Not To Care...

It's quiet. Very quiet. Suspiciously quiet. I don't care. It's been a mischief-heavy day. 
Oh, wait! I might care!
Me: C!! What are you doing?
C: Putting your cherry lipstick on my fingers!
Yeah. I guess I care.

A Friend In Need

J has a Hot Wheels car, and C has a little duck. The duck is chasing the car.
J: If you don't stop chasing me, I'll call the cops!
C (holding pretend phone to ear): Helloooooo, cops! How are you today?
With the day she is having today, I'd say it would be a VERY good idea for her to befriend the police.

Blessed Sleep

After being up a few times in the night, C is feeling much better today. No fever or lethargy. Instead, we have timeouts, being sent to bed, and "I love you when you make me chocolate milk."
Thank the Lord for good health. Maybe I'll slip her some Benadryl later, just for good measure.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

What's In A Name: Take III

She got a My Little Pony for being so unbelievably good at the pediatrician this morning. 

C: I have Rainbow Rash!
Me: Her name is Rainbow DASH.
C: Shoot.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Hiding

Me: C? Where are you?
C: Over here!
Me: What are you doing?
C: Just hiding in this corner. I'm not doing anything.
Me: But why are you hiding?
C: Because J was fastistrated at me. So I am hiding here quietly.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

What's In A Name? (Take II)


C has a sweet pink baby doll she got for her first birthday.  The doll has twinkly blue eyes and wears a pink velour outfit.

She named the baby Rocco.

Me:  Why did you name her Rocco?
C:  Because she loves to rock!

Dude.

It's a sight better than all her other toys, though.  Their names are Bear, Bunny, Ducky, Monkey...

Friday, November 2, 2012

What A Little Doll!

Sometimes I feel like C is one of those dolls that say the same few things over and over again when you push a button. Here are her selections of things to say:
Bad momma!!
What. Ever.
Not nice!!
You can see why there will never be a C doll on the market.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

A Great Giveaway! - My Spammy Post

I've never posted a spammy post, but this one is good - a FREE IPAD MINI!  You can get in on the action, too.  Doesn't EVERYONE want one of these?

This is the link to the FREE IPAD MINI giveaway!

Everyone go and enter now!  Like their Facebook page, too.  Lots of great free apps there!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Plan B

C (grabbing straw):  It's MINE!
Me:  Put it down.
C (running away):  No!
Me:  Bring that straw back!
C (throws straw on table):  BAD MOMMA!
Me:  Do you need a timeout?
C (grabbing fork):  I have another plan.

Definitionerating

C:  Can I do some hamscertizing?
Me:  Some what?
C:  Hanskortizing!
Me:  What?
C:  Hamminerskizing!
Me:  I'm sorry!  I don't know what you're saying.
C (rolling eyes):  I'll show you.

She goes downstairs and brings up her box of "school supplies."  She opens the box, takes out a paper, and grabs the scissors.  Squeezing her fingers into the finger loops, she says,

C:  Look!  Hand scissor-tizing!

Monday, October 22, 2012

She's No Pacifist

I have discovered the root of Charis' attitude issues.

As I cleaned out a cupboard yesterday, I found a box of plastic items - baby cup valves, baby medicine syringes, etc.  She pulled out a pacifier and said, "Oh!  Look! My terrifier!!!  Can I have it?  Can I PLEASE???"

I should probably paint sharp teeth on the outside and let her have it.  It may serve as a warning.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Injustice

I hate days like today.  As C's four hundredth time out is ending,  I ask her why she's in timeout.  She says, "I don't know!  What am I in timeout for?" and I have completely forgotten the answer.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

To See Or Not To See

C has a "make-ifying" glass. She asked what it was for. I told her it makes small things look big so they can be seen better, so now she's running around the house looking for things to see. This is what I hear:

A squinky is small!
A leaf is small!
A goldfish cracker is small!
Kitty's nose is small! Kitty! Kitty?!

Poor cat.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Did you say something?

C, to the new cat: 
Do you understand me, kitty? 
Do you UNderSTAND me, kitty? 
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, KITTY?

Should I tell her that, if the cat doesn't respond, the answer is no?

Friday, October 12, 2012

If You Build It, They Will Come

We're at the point of potty training where, when anyone else mentions the bathroom, she HAS to go.  Of course, since she's new at it, she gets first seating preferences.

She also needs to go to the potty the moment we walk into any building, since she knows there is a potty everywhere you go.  In fact, now she sees interesting places as we drive and insists she needs to go potty "right now - in the Hobby Lobby - they have a potty and I need to use it!"

Sigh.

Friday, October 5, 2012

A Good Question!

"Momma, do we stand on Play-Doh?"

At least she asked first.

Likes and Dislikes

She's on my lap eating Cheerios.  Periodically I reach up to type a comment, but my arm blocks her reach to her bowl so she pushes it away.

Me:  Don't do that!  I hate it when you shove my arm like that!
C:  Not me!  I LIKE it when I shove your arm!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Comparatively worse

C:  Momma, I want to play on your Kindle.
Me:  Not right now.
C:  But Momma, I NEED to play on your Kindle!  Or I will be angry.
Me:  Then I can't let you play on my Kindle.
C:  Then I will need to be ANGRIER!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

A Threatening Gesture

Hah. C is holding an SPCA business card up in the cat's face (a testimony to the cat's patience) and demanding, "Read this!  READ THIS!"

Friday, September 28, 2012

Rehearsal

The Drama Queen that lives in my home was born this way. She certainly didn't learn it from anyone here.
Tonight at dinner she asked for something (don't even remember what). Her request was denied. "Oh," she said, "I guess I should cry, then!" She ran into the living room, threw herself headlong onto the couch, and commenced wailing.
We were driving in the car. I'd let her use my Kindle so she wouldn't fall asleep. About 10 minutes into the trip, she said, "Momma, I don't want to play this game any more." I asked her if she was tired of it. "Oh, yes! I am tired of it. I should have a meltdown." I told her that if she did, I'd just take the Kindle. She changed her mind.
If there are still soap operas in twenty years, she'll surely qualify.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Learning Self-Control

What have I started? Today I gave C a pair of SCISSORS.


"Thank you, Mommy, for buying me these scissors! Only on paper. Only on paper."

Eighties Stylin'

C won't sit still when I brush her hair, so I told her I'd just put her ponytail wherever it ended up. It's somewhere approximately above her left ear. Coincidentally, she had a braid yesterday, so she has post-braid hair.
She's totally eighties girl today.
She LOVES it. She keeps running over to the TV (which is off) to see her reflection in the screen and stroke her frizzy side ponytail.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Practice Makes Perfect

I'm sitting on the foot of her bed while she talks LOUDLY about anything and everything.
Me (whispering): Okay, time to see how quiet we can be.
C (whispering): All right, Momma!
Silence for the span of three seconds.
C: Psssssssst! Psssssst!...PSSSSSSSST!
Me: You don't have to do that. I'm right here.
C (in her outdoor voice): But I'm being QUIET!!!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Of Nuts And Nuts

SO random!
She asked me to help her sort her Squinkies (gummy bear size toys). I picked up a squirrel.
Me: Oh! This squirrel is cute.
C: Yes, he is!
Me: Look! He's holding a nut!
C: He looks like a pastor.

Freeeeeeeee!

ROFLOL! She asked if she could "peep on the potty" all by herself. With some trepidation I said it was okay.
She just came running out of the bathroom ALL kinds of proud of herself - but ALL kinds of nekkid, too. 🙂

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I've Been Called Worse

C: Is my timeout over yet?
Me: No. You have another minute.
C: No! I don't want to be in timeout!
Me: Well, it's almost over.
C: No! I do not like it, Sam I Am!
Dr. Seuss strikes again.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Whose Is It?

She spat on the couch, then ran away when I sent her to her timeout chair. This means I sit in the chair with her on my lap until she decides to take her timeout. It can be a long, wild ride.
Today, in mid-tantrum, she yelled, "No! Bad momma! This is MY time-out chair, and you CAN'T sit in it!"
I wish!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Blah Blah Blah

One BIG problem with an early reader is that you can not skip parts of REALLY annoying books. "Mommy, you forgot THIS part: 'blah, blah, blah, blah...'"

She Wants Much More Than This Provincial Life

C, lying on the floor in a bored malaise: "I have to get OUT of here!"

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Hush!

Today C went to Junior Church instead of the nursery. H was the aide, and she reported this to me:
C was sitting in her chair kicking the leg of the table. The teacher told her to quiet her feet. C held up her feet, pointed to them, and said, "Shhhhh! Be quiet!!"

Thursday, September 13, 2012

A GOOD Day!

Aaaaaaaand...she's asleep! ZERO timeouts today!! We did push it a little right there at the end, but she made it!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Regal

She strides into the kitchen. "I am Queen Charis. I am a mean queen! I will now stratch your bickerator." She lifts her scepter (a convenient stick) and rubs its point along the side of the fridge.
Just in case an evil dictator invades your kitchen, you now know how to protect YOUR bickerator from being stratched.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Hippocratic Oath Aside...

C has a bell. She's pretending it's a stethoscope and chasing J around the house. "I'm an ANGRY doctor!"
Where on earth does she get this stuff?

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Curious C

"George promised to be good. But sometimes little monkeys forget."
Story of my life.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Breakfast of Champions

Breakfast for me: Coffee and oatmeal.
Breakfast for C: A banana and tortilla chips.
Guess I should find some way to keep her out of the snacks now that she's getting big enough to help herself!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Building A House With Sticks

We're playing with craft sticks. She enjoys making patterns, so I tried to tie the two together and enlist her help to build a house.
Me: You put two sticks across, then two sticks up and down.
Two across; two up and down.
Two across; two up and down.
What comes next?
C: The big, bad wolf!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Weather Or Not It’s A Problem

 H took C outside.  For some reason, C began to scream that they had to go inside.


H:  What's wrong?

C:  I don't want it to snow!

H:  It won't snow!  It's not cold enough.

C:  But I don't want it to be cold!

H:  It's not cold!  Don't worry!

C:  But...but...I don't want to be happy!


At least we finally got to the real problem today (after nine or ten "not agains," which she has begun to call "mom-outs").

A Little Snack

 We're straightening up.

C:  Oh!  Here is a receipt!

Me:  Where is it from?

C:  It from WalMart.

Me:  Bring it here, please.

C:  Oh, okay!  Except this part that's broken off.  I ate that.

It Gets Old

 Me:  C, go sit in your timeout chair.

C:  NOT AGAIN!!!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Less Loveable

 C, at bedtime:  "Momma, I love you!  <3  But I don't love you when you're mean."

LOL!


*****

She was surprised when I told her that I love her when she’s good and when she’s bad.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Up, Up and Away!

"Momma, is there any way for me to borrow a helicopter?"
Looks like it's three if by air, folks!

What A Melon!

We went to a pool party yesterday. In preparation, I sliced a watermelon, placed the slices on a serving dish, and wrapped it in plastic. Naturally, I left it on the counter, so had to buy a new watermelon on the way to the party.
Last night, DH and DS went to Bible Study. Unfortunately, I didn't think to have them take the watermelon. Egads - it's a WHOLE melon, folks. I don't care for watermelon, so I could eat maybe a slice or two. We ate a few slices last night, but I wondered what to do with the rest of it.
Why on earth did I wonder? Jimmy took the dish outside, and he and C ate it. All. And C wants more.

Once Upon A Time

Uh oh. A fractured fairy tale for sure, and I think I'm about to get the sad end of the story. She says, "Momma, I'll be the good wolf, and you be the bad pig. Okay?

Sunday, August 19, 2012

First Aid

 She has an itty bitty cut on her foot.  When I put her sandals on for church this morning, the shoe pressed on the cut, so I covered it with a bandaid.  Naturally, the bandaid fell off during church.

There was a coffee-and-cake gathering after church.  She and her BFF raced around the building for a solid hour (at least).  Then we came home and she played in the sandbox, barefoot, for 45 minutes.

We came inside just now.  She sat down to play and noticed her cut.  Incredibly, it HURTS and NEEDS a new bandaid.  I gave in.

Anyone want to guess what she's doing right now?

Pick, pick, picking at that uncomfortable bandaid!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Ruling Is A Tough Job

 MOVING UP IN THE WORLD!!  C just whispered in my ear.  "Mommy?  I'm going to make you a QUEEN today!"

Wahoo!

...Uh oh.  Now she says she's going to be a giant.  My first royal pain.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Peace At Any Price?

 We had a baby visitor this morning - 6 weeks old, cute as can be.  C was a PERFECT ANGEL the whole time the baby was with us.  She was obedient and quiet, and didn't act out, climb on anything, or destroy anything at all.

The moment the baby left, however, she's been C Squared.

I asked her why she was so well behaved, and she said it was "because of the baby."


Some things are just not worth having a peaceful C.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Miscommunication

The kind of day I'm having:
Me: Don't do that!
C: I won't! (Does it again.)
Me: I told you not to do that! Did you hear me?
C: Yes.
Me: Then why did you do it?
C: I didn't WANT to hear-ed you!
Some time later...
Me: Don't hit!
C: Okay. (Hits again.)
Me: What did I say?
C: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

Friday, August 10, 2012

A Story of Bedtime

Every summer we watch the movie Bedtime Stories. This year we had trouble locating a copy, so I finally drove out to Walmart and bought it. We've been waiting for months to see it, but I kept interrupting the video to take care of various things.

As it grew later, C fell asleep in my lap. I asked H to pause the video yet again, then picked up C. Turning to H, I asked if I was bothering her.

A very sleepy little voice on my shoulder answered.  "Nnnnnnnoooooo. Well, a little, but not much."

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Same Song, Second Verse

LOL!!! My DD15 just opened a Facebook account two days ago. Look at the status she just posted and try to tell me she's NOT like me:
C: (spilling Cheerios all over the table) WAAAA! WAAAAAA!
Me: what's wrong?
C: I SPILLED CHEERIOS!!!!
Me: oh it's okay
Me: oops! ( spilling Cheerios all over the table)
C: HA HA! You spilled cheerios all over the floor MMMAAAAMMMMAAA!!!! H IS THROWING CHEERIOS!!!!
I love having a little sister 🙂

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Eight Slices

 C:  Momma!  What are you making?

Me:  Pizza.

C:  Pizza?  For me?

Me:  Yes, you may have some.

C:  But, Momma, is pizza good for our bodies?

Me:  Yes, it's pretty good for us.  Not the best, but not bad.

C:  Oh.  And is it good for octopuses' bodies?

Me: ???

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Finders Keepers?

Yesterday we were at the church picnic, which was held at a friend's house. They have a VERY large labradoodle - friendly, gentle dog. C loved him, but was naturally intimidated by his size. When she stood and he sat next to her, they saw eye to eye. At one point, Twizzler leaned over and sniffed C's face.
C: Momma, Twizzler likes my nose.
Me: Yes, he does.
C (nervously): But, Momma? I like my nose, too!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

What Did You Say?

Apparently I'm not the only one who can't hear properly in the kitchen with the dishwasher running.
Me: You're supposed to eat that with a fork.
C: No, I'm not supposed to be four! I'm only two!
C: What are you eating?
Me: Blueberries.
C (with a look of horror): Bluebirds?!
C: What are you putting in your egg?
Me: Peppers.
C: Crackers?!
Thankfully I can't blame it on getting old!

Monday, July 16, 2012

More Fun

Good times:  unloading the grocery carts while the toddler yells, "HELP!!" at the top of her lungs.

Fun Milk

Our local grocery store changed the font of the print on all their store-brand items to a more casual, handwritten style.

This morning, Her Crankiness was incoherently angry at J, who had the audacity to sit at the table eating a bowl of cereal with milk.  This seemed so strange to us, so we calmed her down enough to tell us what was wrong.

"He is drinking all the Disney milk!!!!"

Sure enough, the milk label has the word "vitamin" in small letters, then, in much larger letters, "D milk," all in the loopy, casual new font.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Same Song, Different Verse

My day so far:

Hooray!  You used the potty!
No, you do NOT need a band-aid.
Hooray!  You used the potty!
No, you REALLY do NOT need a band-aid.
Hooray.  You used the potty.
NO!  You REALLY, TRULY don't need a band-aid.
Potty?  Again??
Trust me!  You DON'T NEED A BAND-AID!!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

On Language

H:  C, do you know how to say good night in Spanish?
C:  Good night in Spanish!!

H:  C, I love you.  Te amo!
C:  Te ammo!  (Note:  like short for ammunition)
H:  No, no.  Ah.  Ah!  Te AH-mo.
C:  Ah!  Ah!  Te ammo!  Hee hee!
H:  Te amo!  Te amo!
C:  Me amo!  Te Elmo!  Te emo!  Hee hee!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A Little Bit Country

We decided to celebrate Chocolate Day by taking a trip to the local ice cream shop. All afternoon, C talked about what flavor ice cream she would get and who she would share it with. When we arrived, the line was fairly long and, as usual, they were blaring country music. 

After waiting for just a couple of minutes, she announced, "I didn't come here for the ice cream."
"No?" I asked. "Then why are you here?"
She did a little jig and called at the top of her lungs, "I'm here for the MUSIC!"

Friday, July 6, 2012

Unpunishable

I was taking C up to her playpen-itentiary for an infraction. She looked so happy, though. 

C: Will you kiss me?
Me: After your time-out.
C: You will put me in the playpen, and it will be two minutes. Then you will come and get me!! Yay!! (Clapping.)

Somehow I suspect this isn't the most effective disciplinary measure for her.