Sunday, January 29, 2012

Dolly Love

She took a bath with Teen's old bathtub dolly.  Of course Dolly's swimsuit got wet, so we had to pick a new outfit.

This was Toddler's first experience with changing doll clothes.  She was absolutely transfixed by the idea...and by the possibilities!  She dug wildly through a small box of doll clothes, carefully selecting this lovely outfit:

A bright yellow and blue soccer uniform.
A pair of neon pink and green striped socks.
A pink and brown hiking boot.
A sneaker.
A flowered aqua corduroy jumper.
A floppy denim hat.
Groovy, groovy sunglasses.

If dressing this doll reflects her fashion sense, she's got a wild streak.  At least when she becomes a super villain she'll be easy to spot.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Her True Calling

After a long day of pushing buttons, she hits me.  I incarcerate her in her playpen.

C:  Hey!  Let.  Me.  OUT.  Of.  Here!
Me:  You need to stay in until you're sorry for hitting me.
C (yelling):  I'm SORRY!  Now lemme outta here!
Me:  I'll let you out when you can be good.
C:  Neverrrrrrr everrrrrrrr!

I told Tween that he'd better plan to be a superhero, because someone needs to know all her hidden secrets so they can save the world from her.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Curioser and Curioser...

Today she's walking around with an electric nail buffer in one hand, a baseball in the other, a lanyard around her neck, and a cereal bowl (empty, thankfully) on her head.

Gotta wonder what goes through her head sometimes!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Word Order

She's eating some dry Kix cereal.  She carefully picks up one piece in her spoon, and wiggles the spoon a little.  She studies closely as the cereal moves around the spoon.

C: It a little tiny ball.
Me:  Yes, it is.
C:  NOT a tiny little ball.

Okay then.

Not the Job for Her

She just informed me that she is NOT a superhero.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Picketer

Teen is practicing her piano downstairs.  She's been working on For The Beauty Of The Earth and Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee for the past few months.  These songs are, apparently, too subdued for Toddler.  She marches to the top of the stairs, leans over the gate, and yells, "Oh, come ON!  Let's do Jingle Bells!"

When her request is not immediately granted, she begins marching back and forth in front of the gate.  "Jingle Bells!  Jingle Bells!  Jingle Bells!  JINGLE BELLLLLLLLLLS!!!"

Friday, January 20, 2012

Lights Out

As we go through the house to bed, we turn the lights off one by one. To C it is a wonderful game.
C (clicking light off): Who turn out the light?
Me: I turned out the light!
C: Hee hee! No, I turn out the light!

Finally we come to her room. Once we flip the switch, though, it's evident that there is no night light - the room is black.
C (in a very serious voice): Momma?
Me: Yes?
C: Turn out the dark!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tattletale

Teen was watching Toddler while I did some work in the laundry room.  After whining and cajoling and fussing, Teen gave in and emptied the bag of 100 ball pit balls on the floor for her.  When I came upstairs, I was not happy.

Me:  How did these balls get all over the place?
C:  SHE did it!  She poured alllllll these balls alllllll around the room!  Hee hee!

Ever!!

Somehow she thinks that "ever" means something really, really big and bad.  It's now her go-to word when she's being obstinate.

Me:  Come off the table!
C:  No!  EVER!!

Me:  You must stop doing that!
C:  I will do it!  EVER!!

Me:  I'll have to put you in your playpen!
C:  EVER!!  Don't put me in my playpen!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Identity Confusion

She's sitting on my lap.  She grabs both sides of my hair and holds them against my face under my nose.

C:  Momma.
Me:  Yes?
C:  You a man.

Milestone?

Toddler (C) is trying to pick a fight with Tween (J).  I know you don't believe me because Toddler is such an angel-girl, so I will relate the conversation.

C has a bag of 100 ball pit balls, which J poured all over the living room and dining room at her request. Naturally this made me SO VERY happy, so I asked them to put the balls away.  J tried to convince C to help him, but of course she loudly refused.  Then C stole J's big bear, insisting that the bear is hers.  A peaceable fellow, J capitulated on all points and began retrieving balls from under the dining room table.

C:  Momma!!  He won't fight with me!
Me:  Who?
C:  HE won't!  The boy!
Me (a tad confused):  What boy?
C:  THAT boy!  That ugly boy in the dining room!  That ugly boy won't fight with me!

Is "first obnoxious insult" something to celebrate?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Toddler Property Laws

...because no toddler blog would be complete without this!  I copied these rules from Kellymom, but have seen them other places around the 'net.


Toddler Property Laws

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Ambiguity

She was up for a significant portion of the night. Today she's running around the dining room table.

Me: Oh, little Joy.
C (jogging): What?
Me: You're tiring.
C: No! I'm not! (Breaks into a sprint.)

I guess it's all in how you read the phrase.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Reason to celebrate!

This morning she is singing to the tune of the Hallelujah Chorus:

DUN-kin Donuts! DUN-kin Donuts! Dunkin Donuts! Dunkin Donuts! Dun-kin Do-nuts!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Who wouldn't?

Toddler, at dinner, holding fork toward DH who sits right next to her:

Daddy, do you want a fork in your ear?

Actually...

Know-it-all-ism begins long before that first carefully enunciated "ack-chew-lee..."

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Bedtime prayers

Teen (praying): ...and, Lord, please help Toddler not to be so stubborn. Amen.

Me: Stubborn people rule the world. One day you'll be a sweet missionary, and Toddler will be president.

Toddler: YEEEAAAAAHHHH!

Miss Manners

Big Brother: (BEELLLLCCCHHH)!

Toddler: A-cooz you!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Reflections

Toddler and I were standing in front of a mirror.

Me: Who's that little girl?
C: It ME!! (pointing) And that Momma!
Me: You are very cute!
C: And Momma's not bad.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Knock knock joking

Taking down gates means relying on a toddler's good manners where doors are concerned...think she'll honor closed doors now that I've explained the whole "knock and wait for an answer" system?

Vroom vroom!

On your car
Get set
GOOOO!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

I spy!

We bought two rubber duckies at WalMart, then drove home. This is our conversation in the car.

C: I spy wiff my little eye...sumping...uh...LELLOW!
J: That sign?
C: Nope!
Me: The light?
C: Nope! My DUCKY!!!


***


C: I spy wiff my little eye...sumping...PINK!
J: Is it...
C: It my OTHER DUCKY!!



***


C: I spy wiff my little eye...sumping...uh...BROWN! Dat a good idea!
J: Is it Momma's coat?
C: No!
J: Is it...
C: It a tree!



***


I spy wiff my little eye...sumping...blue!
J: What is it?
C: I. Don't. Know.
Me: Where is it?
C (pointing at the dashboard): Right THERE!
Me: That button?
C: YES!! You right! It a button!!



***


These are the days we live for.  So much fun!

Monday, January 2, 2012

What I Like About You

Me: I like you!
C: I look like you. Now just go cook my dinner.