Monday, December 31, 2012


Tonight we discussed the verse where Jesus said, "Watch, therefore, so that you do not fall into temptation."

C: What that mean - fall into "tempation"?
Me: Well, temptation is when you really want to do something even though you know it's bad. Like hitting.
C: Or like screeching!
Me: Yes! Like hitting or screeching. And falling to temptation is when you do the thing anyway, even though you know it's bad and you shouldn't.
C: Oh!...I have a REAL PROBLEM with that!

Foot Fun

Me: Hey, take your feet out of that box of beads, please!
C: No, I won't! They're having SO much fun in there!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

It's bedtime, following a long day of trying to patiently discourage chasing the cat, throwing Matchbox cars, and playing with the vacuum hose. We are reviewing the verse C has been memorizing: Even a child is known by his actions - by whether his conduct is pure and right. 

We spoke of the verse's meaning.

Me: If you do good things people will think of you as a good girl, but if you do bad things, people will think of you as a bad girl.
C: Oh! Am I a good girl or a bad girl?
Me : Well, we all have some good and some bad inside of us. You are...
C: Hilarious!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Stepping Stones

C: I am the TOOTH FAIRY!!

This is very strange, since we are firmly between tooth-losers. I didn't even know she'd heard of the tooth fairy. But carefully connecting the dots here, I'd say that either the tooth fairy rules the universe, or is one in a series of stepping stones to that position. I guess we'll know for sure if, next December, she's Santa Claus.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Her Highness

J, in a hurry to spend his Christmas money: Put your socks on! Put your coat on! Put your stuff on!

Folks, I truly have no idea where she got that from.


Ha ha ha!! We borrowed some old Hardy Boys DVDs from the library. C is dancing around the living room to Da Doo Ron Ron.


C runs up to me with a big bag of carrots, but slips and does a crazy flip on the way down.

"I meant to do that! It was a poth-able!"

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas

The Christmas Eve service was about half over. The candles at the front of the sanctuary were lit and a scripture was being read as a young soloist in the back pew burst into song: "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty, wasty skunk..."

I hate it when you quietly hush them and they only get louder.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Christmas Science

C is singing "Jingle Bells," but she's changed the words. It would make a great science song (if it isn't one already). She's singing "Single cells, single cells..."


We had friends over for dinner after church today. It was bad enough when C announced that she was leaving the table to go to the potty. But she went a bit beyond the usual social restraints for dinner entertainment when she called from above, "Momma! You need to come and see my giant poopy!!"

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Approximately Equivalent

C: I want a banana.
Me: You already had a banana today.
C: Oh. Well, then I'll have a ring pop instead.

Failure To Play

I always put a video on for C while I exercise on my elliptical. My DVD player is old, though, and doesn't accept many of our DVDs. Today she wanted to watch one that we hadn't tried yet. She also called to my attention the fact that it was scratched, so we didn't have a lot of hope.

I put the DVD in the machine, then turned to get my elliptical ready. "Momma," C said, "it's not going to work. The DVD player says 'loss', so it won't play."

We've had this DVD player for years, and I've seen lots of messages, but never that one. I turned to look at the DVD player display.

It was 10:55.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I Guess Moms Can Do Anything!

C: Hey, Momma! Teach me how to fly!


After leaving my makeup brushes all over the living room, C brings me an empty Chapstick container.

C: I used all your chapstick.
Me: You shouldn't have done that. Where is the lid?
C: I don't know. Maybe over there. (Goes to find lid.)
Me: If you can't stay out of my stuff, I can't let you into my room.
C: Pbbbbbbbt!
Me: Go sit on your bed. You don't spit at Mommy.
C (walking to her room): Pbbbbbbbbt! Pbbbbbbbt!
Me: If you spit again, I'll have to spank you.
C: "Spit!" "Spit, spit, spit!"


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Or A Month Of Sundays...

C: Hey, Momma, is this week Saturday?

Now THERE is an idea! I hope she holds onto that one for when she's Dictator of the Universe - a week of Saturdays!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Three Wise People

C, playing with our Playmobil Nativity Set:

I am a king. Here is my gold!
I am a king. Here is my frankincense!
I am a queen. I RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Cleaning Help

The cat is lying on my lap as I knit. C sits on the couch next to me. 
C: Oh, look! The cat is licking her paw!
Me: Yes, she is. That's how she gets clean.
Quick as a wink, C leans over, sticks her tongue out and licks the cat's paw.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Crying because the library is closed. Guess it's time I planned a trip into our day, instead of putting it off. The library is this kid's Disney.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Advancing My Years

According to C, I'm "olding my age."

Personally, I feel that she's the one responsible for it.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

What's In A Name (Part 6 or so)

C: Momma, why your name is Momma?
Me: Well, a woman has her own name, like Pamela. But when she has a child, then her child calls her Momma, and that becomes like a new name.
C: Or Mommy, or Mom.
Me: Yes! She can be called Momma, or Mommy, or Mom. Or Mother. But Momma, Mommy, and Mom are sweeter and nicer.
C: Oh...Okay, Mother.

Her Own Kind Of Princess

We keep C's hair up in a bun at all times because she tends to chew on it. Last night, I took it down and brushed it out as my teen daughter and I commented on how pretty it was. We happened to be in front of a mirror.

C: Oh! I don't look like me!
Me: Who do you look like?
C: I look like...Rapunzel! Yes! I'm Rapunzel!
(Dances around swinging her long blonde hair for a bit.)
C: Okay. I am done being Rapunzel. Please put my hair up. I want to be C now.

Friday, December 7, 2012


C: I just made up a banammy-magic!
Me: Huh??
C: A banammy-magic!
Me: A what?
C: Never mind. I just made up some silly nonsense. I don't even know what it was. I've forgotten it. So forget about it.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

The Formal Announcement

We are sitting at the table taking a break from J's schoolwork. We're talking about favorite colors, and Christmas, and a variety of other things. Suddenly, C interrupts.

C (very loudly): I WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!
Me (laughing): What did you say?
C (whispering): I said I don't want to rule the universe. Hee hee!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Excuses, Excuses

"Goodness 'stake! A mistake is something that you do, and when something goes wrong. I'm sorry you're frustrated with me, J!"

I probably don't want to know what preceded this statement.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

What's In A Name (Part 4 or 5...)

C is looking through the yet-to-be-earned Squinkies. She gets Squinkies as a reward for behaving in church, and for certain things at home, as well. She has her eye on a little raccoon.

Meanwhile, I've lost the verses that go along with our ornaments for our Jesse Tree (a sort of Biblical advent calendar). I have a trumpet before me, representing the story of Joshua.

Me (searching on Jericho...Jericho...
C: That's what I will name him! Jerko!

Monday, December 3, 2012

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

Me: Go to your bed. I don't want you to have a fit.
C: I WANT to have my fit. I will go to my bed!! (Turns and walks up the stairs) But I don't want to go to my bed!
Me: But I don't want to see your fit.
C: How many times do I have to tell you? Seven times I've told you. I don't want to sit on my bed! (Repeat another few times). Or I will flip out!!
Me: Oh! Well, then get on your bed. It's a nice, comfortable place to flip out.

Some days, even the despotic dictator can't win.