Sunday, July 29, 2012

Finders Keepers?

Yesterday we were at the church picnic, which was held at a friend's house. They have a VERY large labradoodle - friendly, gentle dog. C loved him, but was naturally intimidated by his size. When she stood and he sat next to her, they saw eye to eye. At one point, Twizzler leaned over and sniffed C's face.
C: Momma, Twizzler likes my nose.
Me: Yes, he does.
C (nervously): But, Momma? I like my nose, too!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

What Did You Say?

Apparently I'm not the only one who can't hear properly in the kitchen with the dishwasher running.
Me: You're supposed to eat that with a fork.
C: No, I'm not supposed to be four! I'm only two!
C: What are you eating?
Me: Blueberries.
C (with a look of horror): Bluebirds?!
C: What are you putting in your egg?
Me: Peppers.
C: Crackers?!
Thankfully I can't blame it on getting old!

Monday, July 16, 2012

More Fun

Good times:  unloading the grocery carts while the toddler yells, "HELP!!" at the top of her lungs.

Fun Milk

Our local grocery store changed the font of the print on all their store-brand items to a more casual, handwritten style.

This morning, Her Crankiness was incoherently angry at J, who had the audacity to sit at the table eating a bowl of cereal with milk.  This seemed so strange to us, so we calmed her down enough to tell us what was wrong.

"He is drinking all the Disney milk!!!!"

Sure enough, the milk label has the word "vitamin" in small letters, then, in much larger letters, "D milk," all in the loopy, casual new font.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Same Song, Different Verse

My day so far:

Hooray!  You used the potty!
No, you do NOT need a band-aid.
Hooray!  You used the potty!
No, you REALLY do NOT need a band-aid.
Hooray.  You used the potty.
NO!  You REALLY, TRULY don't need a band-aid.
Potty?  Again??
Trust me!  You DON'T NEED A BAND-AID!!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

On Language

H:  C, do you know how to say good night in Spanish?
C:  Good night in Spanish!!

H:  C, I love you.  Te amo!
C:  Te ammo!  (Note:  like short for ammunition)
H:  No, no.  Ah.  Ah!  Te AH-mo.
C:  Ah!  Ah!  Te ammo!  Hee hee!
H:  Te amo!  Te amo!
C:  Me amo!  Te Elmo!  Te emo!  Hee hee!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A Little Bit Country

We decided to celebrate Chocolate Day by taking a trip to the local ice cream shop. All afternoon, C talked about what flavor ice cream she would get and who she would share it with. When we arrived, the line was fairly long and, as usual, they were blaring country music. 

After waiting for just a couple of minutes, she announced, "I didn't come here for the ice cream."
"No?" I asked. "Then why are you here?"
She did a little jig and called at the top of her lungs, "I'm here for the MUSIC!"

Friday, July 6, 2012

Unpunishable

I was taking C up to her playpen-itentiary for an infraction. She looked so happy, though. 

C: Will you kiss me?
Me: After your time-out.
C: You will put me in the playpen, and it will be two minutes. Then you will come and get me!! Yay!! (Clapping.)

Somehow I suspect this isn't the most effective disciplinary measure for her.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Shoot First

We had a long day shopping for Teen's necessities for her medical missions trip. We spent longer than I wanted at the very last store, and everyone was tired and cranky. Teen and I stood at the register making our purchases and looking at the passport/ticket holders. 

A little voice behind me piped up. "Momma? May I take my pants off?"

"No," I answered, without looking. The girl at the sales counter snickered, so I glanced at her and noticed the other sales rep, a guy, staring behind me with his hand over his mouth in shocked amusement.

You guessed it. She asked AFTER the fact.