Cutting Edge Ideas

C: Momma, can I use the scissors?

Me: Not right now. I can't sit with you while you work.

C: But Momma, I want to make a card for Daddy and I have to cut out his face!

Me: Sorry, sweetheart. Not right now.

C: I can't use the scissors?

Me: No.

C: How about a knife?

Me: No.

C: A chainsaw?

Self Control

C (sitting in time out): Mom, can I get off the steps?

Me: Not yet.

C: BUT I HAVE SELF CONTROL!!! Hrmph!!!

Me: A little longer.

C (wearing an overly bright smile): How about now?

She’s From Yew Nork

 Setting the table for our hotdog and hamburger dinner, C carries out the ketchup and mustard, then asks, "Do we need the mayonnaise?"

"I like it on my burger," I answer.

"Oh!  And how about the rill delish?"

A Time For War, A Time For Peace

 As C and J play happily together all morning, I prepare my school calendar and wonder, "Why on earth couldn't they get along so well for any of the 2,000 minutes they spent together in the car last week?"

Detained in the Parking Lot

 PSA:  If you leave fruit snacks in the car on a hot Missouri day, the packet contents will melt and provide huge amounts of entertainment for a mischievous child whose parents are too distracted to pay close attention.

Nest up: Welch’s Makeup Tips!

Urgent!

 One highlight of the trip: after 358 miles, C decided she had an urgent wedgie.

C:  Pull over!  Pull over!  I have a wedgie!

Me:  H will help you with that.

H:  Pick up your leg so I can pull fabric from the side.

C:  No, H!  A wedgie is in the MIDDLE!

Entire family:  DUH, H!

What C is for

 Me:  Oh!  I forgot to eat breakfast!

C:  Well, Momma, I'll tell you what.  On our way to church, we can stop by Dunkin Donuts and you can get some C-O-F-F-E-E!!

She can spell coffee. Looks like I'm raising her right!

Hurry Up And Wait

C:  Momma, can you change the batteries in this toy?

Me (drinking coffee):  Sure!  Give me a minute.

C:  Can you change them now?

Me:  Okay.  Just a sec.

C:  Please change the batteries in the toy!

Me (standing up):  Okay.

C:  Well, you can finish your coffee first.

Me (sitting back down):  Oh, thank you!  That is sweet!

<Big hug>

C (pointing at cup):  Can you drink your coffee now?

Tangled

Great, green gobs of Silly Putty in the hair.

Of my three children, C definitely proves the statement that blondes have more fun.  And a whole lot more trouble, too.

Love Is Patient

She's having one of THOSE days.  We had lots of errands to run, and at the dollar store we came across a child who was having a worse day than C.  I felt empathy for her mom and a momentary gratitude that C wasn't quite that far gone.

The gratitude dissipated pretty quickly once we got home, I am sad to say.

Sigh.