Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Rock On!

We've changed the rules of hide and seek so that we hide an object instead of a person. Today's object is a toy airplane, and I hid it in the closet where we keep our shoes and coats.

C: I can't find it! I need a hint.
Me: It's where we go to get ready to leave the house.
C: The car! The garage!
Me: No...before we go outside, we get ready to leave. Where do we go?
C: In the kitchen!
Me: No...before we go anywhere, we do something.
C: We open the door!
Me: Well, we do, but there's something we do before that. Whenever we go anywhere in the car, what do we put on?
C: I know! THE RADIO!!!

This is what happens when your teens hog the audio controls in the car!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

My Mini-Me!

Some little girls play grocery store, and load up their shopping carts with pretend milk, bread, and eggs.

Some little girls play restaurant, and take orders, cook, and serve.

My little girl plays Dunkin Donuts drive-thru, and orders Coolattas, Munchkins, and coffee.

I've trained her well.

Tech 101

Bad Momma Day: taught C how to load the DVD player and use the remote.

I will regret this one day (probably tomorrow), but it's all good now.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

From Point A to Point B

Sigh. Another literalist. Why must my genes be so strong?

C: Momma, may I have some more ham?
Me: Sure! Why don't you just run into the kitchen and get some?
C: We don't RUN!
Me: Well, I didn't really mean run. I just meant hop up and go get the ham.
C: Oh! Okay!! (Jumping) Hop, hop, hop...

Friday, June 21, 2013

Swan Song

Went to the zoo today. There is a fenced-off section called "backyard wildlife" where local ducks, turtles, etc. are kept. A pair of swans must have laid eggs in one of the nesting boxes, because the area within 3 feet or so of the nesting box was roped off with caution tape.

Caution tape is merely a challenge to some people.

C pushed her body into the tape to see how close she could get without actually going underneath it. Almost immediately, a swan stuck its neck out and HONKed at her. She jumped back a bit, then pointed at the swan and said, "Momma, that one is STRETCHY!"

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Gotta Dance!

When H&J were little, I'd see moms pushing one of those big shopping carts with the plastic car on the front, only the car was empty and the kid was cavorting in the store aisle, and I'd think, "Oh, I'd NEVER put up with that!"

Then yesterday came. I was pushing this wheeled behemoth through the aisles when I saw her sparkly jelly sandal poke through the door of the plastic car.

Me: Put your foot back in the car, honey!
C: But Momma! I need to get out!
Me: I think you need to stay in! Why do you want to get out?
C: Because I need to dance to the MUSIC!

Perhaps other customers thought there was something wrong with my head as I pushed the cart with the empty car through the store. I like to think, though, that if someone actually wants to appreciate and enjoy the piped-in store music, more power to her!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Just Imagine...

C and I were in the car on our way to pick up H.

C: Let me tell you about my mother. She's got blue eyes - like me! - and pink hair. She has brown arms, and she has red toes, and she even has a green back! She's very pretty. She's so pretty! But sometimes she exercises and then she takes a shower, and then her colors wash off and I am sad because she is not so beautiful then, and I miss my colorful mother.

Sometimes her imaginings are pretty weird!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Complimentary?

C: Momma, I love your hair. It's so soft.
Me: Thank you!
C: Like a blanket.
Me: Thank you.
C: Or like a squirrel's tail!
Me: ...uh...thank you?

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Knows Her Way Around A Kitchen

We took my husband to Olive Garden for Fathers' Day dinner. We were seated quickly, but the restaurant was crowded. The waitress took our order. When C ordered, she refused to look at the waitress and hid behind me, as usual. The restaurant didn't carry french fries, so the waitress recommended grapes as a side dish, which C heartily agreed with.

The waitress put our order in. C became a little too excited about the grapes, mentioning them every few minutes. "Where are my grapes?" she asked me when we got our salad, our bread, and whenever there was a lull in the conversation.

After a few more minutes, the waitress returned to our table. "The kitchen is a bit backed up," she said, "but your orders will be out as soon as possible."

C, usually so afraid of strangers, looked her straight in the eye and said, "Grapes don't need to be cooked!"

Friday, June 14, 2013

Traveling Companion

The other day, Daddy was walking to the laundry room to get something. C asked where he was going. Daddy replied with the fairly standard, "Crazy! Wanna come?" Of course, C followed him.

Now, every single time Daddy walks through the living room, C jumps up and yells, "Are you going CRAZY?! 'Cuz I wanna come, too!!" and follows him like a puppy.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Tempting!

Today in our Bible story book we read the story of Adam and Eve.  The writer was very descriptive - telling how God instructed them to eat anything they wanted except the fruit of the one tree in the middle of the garden.  She used very clear imagery when describing how the snake tempted Eve, and how wonderful the fruit looked.  When the snake informed Eve that the fruit would allow Adam and Eve to be as intelligent and wise as God Himself, C interrupted.

C:  Momma?
Me:  Yes, honey?
C:  I was wondering...can I have an apple?

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Deductive Reasoning

We're reading a book called Little Visits With God. The first page has a picture of a boy who looks anxious. In the background we see a baseball bat, glove, and ball. The foreground is filled with a picture of a door with shattered glass where the window should be.

Me: Oh, no! Look at this picture!
C: The window is BRO-ken!!
Me: How does the boy feel?
C: He looks upset!
Me: What do you see on the ground?
C: A baseball bat!! And a ball!
Me: What do you think happened here?
C: The window got broken!
Me: How do you think it happened?
C: I don't know! Maybe a gorilla did it!!

I think we need to watch more Blue's Clues.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

DaVinci


"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, and Jesus!!!"

She's looking at a small reproduction of DaVinci's Last Supper and naming all the people. LOL!!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Bedtime Discussion

How do sharks and whales eat people?

Why do we have one nose with two holes?

I need to take my shorts off when I sleep, but I don't need a law about my shirt. (She leaves it on, BTW.)

The Seat Of Emotion

C takes a little tumble on the stairs, landing on her backside.

Me: Are you okay?
C: Yes, I'm fine. (Rubbing her bottom) Just hurt my...feelings...a little!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A Cautionary Tale

C: I am ANGRY!!!!
Me:I know.
C: So I won't be a part of your family any more.
Me: You won't?
C: No! Do you know the story about anger and anger?
Me: No.
C: Well, there were two happy children, until they got anger, and anger, and ANGER, and ANGER, and ANGER!!! And then their house blew down.

I think she's pretty mad!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A Gand Bircus

C: Hand and...gand! They rhyme!
Me: If only gand was a word. But sand is a word, and it rhymes.
C : And band, and bland, and land! Hmmmmmm...what rhymes with circus?...Oh! I know! Bircus!!!
Me: But that's not a word, either.
C: Yes it is! It's when you have a ball of dodge and you throw it at a bad guy. See? It IS a word!

There you have it, just in time for your next dodge ball game with bad guys!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Give Peace A Chance

Someone pass the heavy-duty earplugs!!!

J is cleaning the living room, loudly "de-duh-de"-ing the song "Eye Of The Tiger." C is following him around with a ladle and plastic container, whacking it and yelling, "Volume control!! YOU NEED VOLUME CONTROL!"

The irony might just kill me. At least my ears will have some peace!