Life Is Better With Me!

We were playing Go Fish and noticed that the king, queen, and jack didn't look happy.

Me:  Maybe it's not so wonderful to be royalty, after all.
C:  Oh!  I know why they aren't happy!
Me:  Why's that?
C:  Because they don't have a PRINCESS! (holds out arms in a "ta-da, it's me" pose)!

Is There A Vaccine For That?

Today C got her MMR vaccine.  She was very worried about getting a shot, so I explained that a momentarily painful shot was better than getting a very bad disease.

At the appointment, we were given an information sheet about the MMR vaccine.  C was reading all the details of problems caused by the three diseases.  She came to me and spoke very seriously:

"Momma!  I definitely don't want to get measles, mumps, or rebellia!"

Don't Go Breakin' His Heart

C snugs into my lap for a hug.

Me:  I love you more than the biggest hug in the universe!
C:  Why did you say that?
Me:  Because it's true!
C:  Oh!  (Climbs off my lap and starts playing in the living room)

Five minutes later:

C:  Momma, can you be the one to tell J that you love me more than anyone else?

Hah!

A Star Is Born

C:  Momma! You know the Christmas story we are doing in Sunday School?  I'm going to be a star!   And do you know why?
Me:  No, why?
C:  Because stars are BRIGHT and BOLD!  I'm the one, all right!!

A Real Toe Tapper

That moment when the five year old points out that I Love My Lips has the same tune as The Water Buffalo Song, and the teens scratch their heads and sing the two songs aloud simultaneously to figure out that, yes, they do have the same tune.

Did YOU know that?

Playing Dolls

DH and C are playing dollhouse while I fold laundry and think laundry thoughts. I pick a pair of jeans out of the basket when I overhear this:

Doll DH: What do you want to do tonight, dear?

Doll DW (played by C): Let's go boxing, honey!

Math Application

Helping to read a recipe:

"Eleven twoths - or is that seconds? - teaspoons of baking powder..."

Fractions:  check!

Thinking Outside of the Box

We're having an interesting discussion about how Dum Dums lollipops get to the dollar store.

C:  Momma, do babies come to the house in boxes, or does someone bring them to your house?

Me:  Oh, dear.

Old-Fashioned Footwear

We are somewhere in the middle of the story in the book of John where Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.

C:  Momma, what did Lazarus look like?
Me:  Nobody knows.  He probably looked like an ordinary guy.
C:  Did he look like Daddy?
Me:  Well, probably not.  He probably had dark hair...
C:  And a nice soft beard?
Me:  Yes, a beard.  And his skin was a little darker than Daddy's.
C:  And he probably had socks on!
Me:  Uh...yeah...uh...no...

Not a Rose by Any Name

Me:  I'm going to take a quick shower.
C (with nose plugged):  I sure hope you don't stink any more when you come out!

Yeah.  That's kinda the point, kid!

The Shape Of Things

I forgot to tell you about the Play Doh.  Yesterday she was playing with it while I printed some of J's schoolwork.  She came to me with a piece that had two very clear circular bumps about half an inch apart.  The bumps were about the size of pencil erasers.

Anyone want to guess how she made them?

Scrambled!

When she told me she was going to pretend to be an egg, why did I fail to foresee her rolling wildly on the floor in my bathrobe while loudly quacking?

My optimistic yearning for peace and quiet got the better of me for a moment!

She Knows Herself

C (sees a pretty pink hair bow in the store):  Oh, Momma!  Isn't it pretty??!  Can you buy it for me?  Please?  It's only a dollar!

Me:  Yes, it is pretty!  But would you actually let me put it in your hair?

C:  Yes!!! ...Uh...no.  No, I wouldn't.  (Puts bow back on display.)

Reenacting Great Literature

She ran upstairs to get her plastic horse and her baby doll.  Then she put the baby on the horse and make the baby hold a plate.  She did all of this so she could sit on the living room chair and yell, "That Sam I Am!  That Sam I Am!  I DO NOT LIKE that Sam I Am!"

What's in a name? (Part N)

C:  Hee hee!  They shouldn't call this breakfast sausage!  That's silly!  They should call it dinner sausage!

Hmmmmm...I guess we eat pancakes for dinner a little too often...

There Might Be Dragons...

Me:  We shouldn't do things like that because they are dangerous.
C (enthusiastically):  Oh!  You're right!  We shouldn't do dangerous things! ... Momma, what's dangerous mean?
Me:  It's when we do something that could easily be harmful.
C:  Like what?  What's something dangerous?
Me:  Well, standing on the arm of the rocking chair to reach something is dangerous.
C:  I did that today!  It was dangerous, wasn't it?
Me: Yes, it was.
C:  So standing on the arm of the rocking chair is dangerous.
Me:  Yep!
C:  And playing with dragons!  That seems dangerous!
Me:  Wha ...?
C: Unless they are nice dragons.  Then it's okay.
Me:  Well, but you won't know if it's a nice dragon or not until it's too late.
C:  Oh.  That's true.  So when I see a dragon in the back yard, I should stay inside.  Thanks, Momma!

Wants To Chill

After a very busy day filled with wants:

C:  Momma, after dinner can you make popsicles?

Me:  Honey, you're asking too much of me.

C:  Asking too much - asking so many things that Momma can't do and expecting her to do them and driving her crazy!

Me:  Exactly!

C:  So...can you make popsicles after dinner?

Cutting Edge Ideas

C: Momma, can I use the scissors?

Me: Not right now. I can't sit with you while you work.

C: But Momma, I want to make a card for Daddy and I have to cut out his face!

Me: Sorry, sweetheart. Not right now.

C: I can't use the scissors?

Me: No.

C: How about a knife?

Me: No.

C: A chainsaw?

Self Control

C (sitting in time out): Mom, can I get off the steps?

Me: Not yet.

C: BUT I HAVE SELF CONTROL!!! Hrmph!!!

Me: A little longer.

C (wearing an overly bright smile): How about now?

She’s From Yew Nork

 Setting the table for our hotdog and hamburger dinner, C carries out the ketchup and mustard, then asks, "Do we need the mayonnaise?"

"I like it on my burger," I answer.

"Oh!  And how about the rill delish?"

A Time For War, A Time For Peace

 As C and J play happily together all morning, I prepare my school calendar and wonder, "Why on earth couldn't they get along so well for any of the 2,000 minutes they spent together in the car last week?"

Detained in the Parking Lot

 PSA:  If you leave fruit snacks in the car on a hot Missouri day, the packet contents will melt and provide huge amounts of entertainment for a mischievous child whose parents are too distracted to pay close attention.

Nest up: Welch’s Makeup Tips!

Urgent!

 One highlight of the trip: after 358 miles, C decided she had an urgent wedgie.

C:  Pull over!  Pull over!  I have a wedgie!

Me:  H will help you with that.

H:  Pick up your leg so I can pull fabric from the side.

C:  No, H!  A wedgie is in the MIDDLE!

Entire family:  DUH, H!

What C is for

 Me:  Oh!  I forgot to eat breakfast!

C:  Well, Momma, I'll tell you what.  On our way to church, we can stop by Dunkin Donuts and you can get some C-O-F-F-E-E!!

She can spell coffee. Looks like I'm raising her right!

Hurry Up And Wait

C:  Momma, can you change the batteries in this toy?

Me (drinking coffee):  Sure!  Give me a minute.

C:  Can you change them now?

Me:  Okay.  Just a sec.

C:  Please change the batteries in the toy!

Me (standing up):  Okay.

C:  Well, you can finish your coffee first.

Me (sitting back down):  Oh, thank you!  That is sweet!

<Big hug>

C (pointing at cup):  Can you drink your coffee now?

Tangled

Great, green gobs of Silly Putty in the hair.

Of my three children, C definitely proves the statement that blondes have more fun.  And a whole lot more trouble, too.

Love Is Patient

She's having one of THOSE days.  We had lots of errands to run, and at the dollar store we came across a child who was having a worse day than C.  I felt empathy for her mom and a momentary gratitude that C wasn't quite that far gone.

The gratitude dissipated pretty quickly once we got home, I am sad to say.

Sigh.

THAT Mom

Me: You know I'm not supposed to let my small child play with garbage bags.

C (as she picks up a knife): I know!

I guess I'm the mom those warnings are talking to. Sorry, rest of the world!

The Truth Comes Out

Well.  It happened again.  We were at WalMart.  C was overtired from having a friend sleep over and was in rare form, despite a tremendous attempt at self-control.  Finally I made her sit in the cart, where she sulked for a half hour or so.  We got in line to purchase our merchandise behind a couple with a perfectly darling, agreeable looking girl.  The man turned to me, pointed at C in the cart, and asked, "Where did you find that?  I'd sure like to see a well-behaved little girl!"

His daughter smiled sweetly at me as I informed him that he shouldn't be fooled by momentary appearances.  His wife shared that their little girl wasn't quite as she appeared either (all the while her calm demeanor was convincing me otherwise).

Suddenly C, in a rage over a remembered offense, got up on her knees and swung her fist at me.  She wouldn't hit me - was just expressing her anger - but it rather changed their impression of her!

We all chuckled a bit, me in embarrassment and them in cameraderie.

Possibilities

Me, while slicing some cheddar:  Sometimes I wonder if God should have made me a mouse.

C:  Oh!  And then He should have made me a cat!!

It's All Playtime

Two year old visitor brought her baby doll. She has changed and fed the baby, and is now playing happily with our doll house.

C, meanwhile, is using the dollhouse's minivan as a skateboard and making dance poses with herself in the reflection on the TV.

At least the girly toys are finally getting some use!

Young Babysitting

Sometimes I watch a friend's kids, and since they were old enough, I've pretty much just had H and J play with the kids while I supervise (read "drink coffee").

Today we have a 6 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. J is playing with the boy. In H's absence, C has decided it's her job to keep the girl occupied.

Score!!!!

Pick-nic Lunch

From the "strange things you never expected to do" file:

In a few minutes, we will go to the garage, sit in the car, and eat a snack.

We're having a hard day. We dropped DD17 off last night for her medical missions trip, and DH has been away for a while, too. C wants to pack a lunch bag, drive somewhere, and eat picnic-style. Unfortunately, it's a rainy day. We can't eat out this first day because she will expect that every day.

When we boiled it down, she mostly just wants to put individually-packaged foods into her cute penguin bag and eat in an unusual place, so this is what we came up with.

The Punishment Fits The Crime

C:  Momma, you have been a bad momma.  A really bad momma.  You get a timeout for TWO DAYS!!!

With punishments like this, I'll never, ever reform!!!!!!!!

Blue and Purple

Today we discovered the importance of looking in the direction in which we are running, courtesy of the laundry line pole.  And we also discovered that purple brings out the blue in her eyes, though I think fashion accessories would have been a better way to learn that.

A Day In A Doll’s Life

We are playing Barbie-ish dolls.  The dolls are a mom and three girls, whose names are Apuntastink, Meenamahna, and Blah.  After losing a shoe, Blah has stolen the car and driven off by herself.  She was last seen in outer space.

*****

Ah.  Blah returned momentarily.  The van door opened, a mechanical voice said, "Engaging sister," and Apuntastink was teleported into the van.

*****

Meenamahna was actually named after me.  It's a corruption of the phrase "mean old mama!”

First Place Goes To...

"Good morning, J!  You're my favorite brother!"

The dubious compliments continue...

And in Second Place...

C:  Momma, I love you!  You're my second favorite parent!

Public Eye

Sigh.  My little stinker.

She was in rare form this morning: yelling, complaining, and ordering.  Purely ornery.

We visited another church today.  After an aggravating, bickerful ride in the car, we walked in a few minutes late.

Suddenly she morphed into Angelic Christian Sweetiepie.  

She sang every song, even the ones she didn't know, with energy and feeling.  "Oh, how precious," exclaimed the church ladies in front of us.  

She couldn't sit still, so curled up on my lap with her head peeking over my shoulder.  "Little darling," said the people behind us.  

The message was about being fishers of men.  At one point she laughed loudly and shouted, "he said 'go fish!!'"  All the congregants within four or five pews chuckled at her innocent humor. 

She smiled shyly at people and skipped along the aisle when I told her to come.

Once we got on the road, however, her alter ego re-emerged.  Boss, fuss, complain, yell.

She'll make a great politician one day.

Choices

C, coming downstairs in the morning:  Can I have some Cheetos?

Me:  Not for breakfast.  It's too early.  How about a banana?

C:  No!  I'm not eating healthy food today!

Sigh. Even if I was a morning person, it's too early for this.

Voice Acting

Voice characterization meets Are You My Mother!

C, reading aloud: "Where is my mother?" he said.

She rejects this and tries other options.

(In a high, squeaky voice): "Where is my mother?"
(In a whispery, heavily accented voice): "Verr ees my muddah?"
(In a low, loud, gravelly voice): WHERE IS MY MOTHER?"

She settles on option #2, and the reading continues.

A baby bird sounds an awful lot like a Cold War Russian spy when he whispers, "I haff to find herr! I vill! I VILL!!"

State of Spoonerism

She knows every state in the union and every country on every continent, but still thinks we live in You Nork.

Don’t Bug Me

Pest control:  she made a sign that says "no bugs" and hung it in the front window.

That oughtta work.

Spelling Attitude

C:  What is the first letter in play?

Me:  P.

C (in a duh voice):  I KNOW.  What is the next letter?

Me:  L.

C (duh voice again):  I KNOW.  What's next?

Me:  A.

C (as before):  I KNOW!  And I know what comes next, too.

No idea where she gets her know-it-all-ness.

Listening Closely

Today I served as an aide in children's church.  The story was about Pentecost.  The teacher used visuals to tell the story, then asked the kids some review questions.

Teacher:  Where did all the people travel to?
Child:  Jerusalem!
Teacher:  That's right!  And why did they go to Jerusalem?
C (covering her ears):  They wanted to know who was making all that noise!!

Reasonable Love

C (giving me a big hug):  I love you SOOOO much!
Me:  I love you so much, too!
C:  Well, at least on this day - because you're making hot dogs.
Me:  Oh...
C:  There isn't any reason to love you that much any other day!  Ha ha!

Inside Out

Tonight she asks what part of her God made first.  She thought it might be her skin.

*****

I told her He made her genetic code first.  Because I'm fun like that.

Safety First

"NOOOO!  No, Jimmy!  You can't do that!  It's MOMMA's job to keep me safe.  NOT YOURS!  So stop trying to keep me safe!!!"

Sigh.  Guess it's time to step in.

Float Like A Butterfly...

A recent conversation reported by DD17:

C: I want to be a butterfly!
Dad: where would you fly if you were a butterfly?
C: I would fly into the street and attack people!!

Time Well Spent

Dear Congregation,

You may have realized that I, the wife of the pastor, was quite late this morning. I would like the opportunity to explain.

Seventeen and a half years ago I gave birth to a delicate-framed little girl. She loved dresses and having her hair styled, and I hoped against hope that one day we could play dolls together. As feminine and sweet as she was, though, she was never bitten by the dolly bug. My hopes were packed away.

Nearly five years ago, I had the surprise of giving birth to another little girl. Far from being frilly, this one is the type of child you leave sleeping as long as possible each morning just so you can enjoy some semblance of sanity with your coffee. Her personality is all about jumping off of furniture and belching as often in a minute as she can.

This morning, after letting Cyclone Girl sleep as late as possible, I took out a sweet pink dress and began to wrestle her into it. It was at this point that she asked a game-changing question: "Can we dress my dolly? Because she shouldn't go to church in her pajamas!"

We selected the perfect outfit: a flowered spring-green jumper and red hiking boots. Given her inexperience, the clothes-changing operation took quite a bit longer than it should have.

I loved every second of it.

Why was I late to church this morning?

Because DOLLY CLOTHES!

Love,
The Wife of the Pastor

Aging Well

H had a friend sleep over. It's one of the girls who helped with C when I broke my pe1vi$, so C considers her a special friend. As a result, C tends to over share.

"You know what?? I'm FOUR, but I wear a size FIVE! And you know what else? My mom is 85 and she wears a size 8!"

I look pretty good for my age!

Opposites

We meet on the stairs: she's coming down while I go up. She reaches out for a hug, but as I embrace her, she wraps her arms and legs around me. She pushes her head into my hair and snuggles her cheek against mine. In her sweetest voice she says, "I'm wondering...why must I have such a MEAN momma?"

A Little Ditty

Me:  You said you wouldn't do that, but you did it, anyway.
C:  I don't feel like being good today.
Me (sighing):  You're exhausting.
C (making up a new song):  I'm exhausting
Trosting
Rosting
Causing lots of trouble!

Dreaming of Being In Charge

C wakes up and immediately begins yelling.  "Stop it, J!!  That's MY job!!  You can't do that!  STOP!!!! You're doing MY job!"

Since I haven't seen hide nor hair of J yet today, I go upstairs.  Sure enough, J's fast asleep in his bed.  I enter C's room and sit on her bed.  "Honey, J's sleeping.  He's not doing your job.  You're having a dream!"

"No, I'M not having a dream.  J's having a dream.  He's dreaming that he's doing MY job!"

A Rainbow Of Truth

Momma, I love you! I love you SO much! And do you know why I love you, Momma? I love you because you have Skittles!!!

The Mail Must Go Through

A friend gave C the latest "toy" from McDonald's: pink Spiderman stationery. C pulled out a spider-covered post card and wrote "To G" on it. Then she slid it into an envelope (also covered in pink spiders) and wrote in very large, pink letters "To G". Then she asked me to mail it to Grandma.

I told her that there are millions of people called Grandma, so I'd have to write an address on it so the post office would know which Grandma to deliver it to.

C quickly took the envelope back and wrote some more. "There! Now it says MY Grandma!"

Pale By Comparison

"Momma, I love you! You're the best mom I've ever had!"

Prayer Requests

C: Can Jesus understand me when I pray like this (whispers in a silly voice)?

Me: Well, yes, He can, but He hears your heart more than your words. He knows when you're just being silly and when you mean it.

C: Oh! (Presses hands on belly)

Me: What are you doing?

C: Making my heart come to my words!

A little later...

C: Momma, can you understand this (whisper-mumbles)?

Me: No, I'm not like Jesus.

C (leaning in to put her face to my chest and mumble-whispering): How about now?

What's In A Name

Me: Sorry, Honey.
C: I don't like it when you call me Honey.
Me: Oh, okay! Sorry, So-and-so!
C: Stop saying So-and-so!
Me: Well, what do you want me to call you?
C: How about...uh...Sugarplum?!

The Mail Must Go Through

C is trying to slide a piece of paper under Jimmy's door, but there isn't enough room between the door and the carpet. She stands up and knocks loudly.

Me: Leave J alone, C! He's studying!
C: But I drew him a picture of me screaming so it would hurt his feelings and he'd give me my superball back.

The Wet Look

Hey, Momma, is it all right if I pour water over Jimmy's head since he won't give me my superball?

Looking For Some Freedom

Between having our car and the church van repaired, and the rental car we used, DH and I have had to leave the house every morning to drop off or pick up a car. Today was no exception. As I was preparing to go, C and I had the following conversation:

C: Momma, I love you! Even when you're not here.
Me: Oh! I love you, too!
C: And I'll love you even when you're dead!
Me: ...Oh. Great.
C: But I won't miss you! I'll still have a brother and a sister!
Me: Yes...
C: Oh. But that's almost the same as parents. Sigh.

Different Sides of Beauty

As she strokes my hair, she sings a little song: 

I like your hair
It's so, so so-oft
Plus I like to sneeze in it...

Bedtime

She's decided to read her memory verse 17 times. Super-spiritual exercise or clever bedtime extension?

The answer is clear to me.

On Being Mean

C climbs on my lap, clenches her teeth tightly, leans closely in to my face, and whispers loudly: Momma! I want you to be more MEAN!

Me: Why is that?

C: Because I want to be mean back!

Yeah, I've felt that way at times, myself.

Sharing a Snack

Finally climbing into my warm, comfy bed only to realize that someone small was here before me with a crunchy snack.

Good Fun That Is Funny

C was looking at her magnetic calendar and said, "Momma, when the February day is over, and the March day, then will you stay home with me? It will be April then, and it will be rainy, and I want you to stay inside and play with me while it rains. Please? I know lots of good games we can play!"

This sounds so very sweet! 

It also sounds an awful lot like the beginning of the Cat in the Hat, though...

Pretentious

J and C have a loud, volatile relationship. If they aren't playing wildly, they're arguing wildly. Since there isn't a lot of playtime in the homeschool day, much of it is fighting. Today is no exception. When things were noticeably calm, I expressed my surprise to C. 

Her answer? "I'm pretending to be nice to him."

Boredom Sets In

"There's nothing to do but drink chocolate milk," says the girl who just took out a big container of mac & cheese for breakfast and who is going to Dairy Queen later today.

What A Girl Wants

C (whispering loudly in my ear):  I love you but I don't want you in my family.

Me:  Oh, you don't mean that!  Who would put you to bed or take you to the library?  No, what you want to say is "I love you but I'm really, really angry."

C:  No!  What I WANT to say is "give me some candy!"

Meant To Be

As C and J's volume gets louder and louder, H and I exchange pained looks.  "I took an online quiz the other day," I tell her, "to let me know how many children I should have.  The definitive answer was two."

We simultaneously look at J, who is oblivious.  Then we look at C.  She's been listening in.  She is nodding her head sagely.

LOL!

No Hate Speech

C:  Momma, can I whisper something in your ear?  Please?  It won't be 'I hate you!'
Me:  Uh...ok...
C (whispering loudly and too closely):  I love you!  And your hair smells gross!

Geography

C uses her zigzag scissors to cut out a shape. She makes a few smaller shapes, then glues them on. Finally, she draws a small orange circle.

"Look, Momma! The Dramatic Republic of the Congo!"

This is strange on a couple of levels.

Hypocrisy In Action

Mommmmmmmaaaaaa! Jimmy's tattling on meeeeeee!

An Oldie

She's watching her first Shirley Temple movie now. Cute looks, drama, singing and dancing.

I'm going to be sorry. I can just feel it.

What Goes Down...

C is walking around gulping air and swallowing it forcefully.

Me:  Stop that!  You're going to make yourself belch!  Oh.  That's what you want, isn't it?
C:  Nope.  Throw up!

Act Now!

C: Momma, can I have a piece of cake now? Please?

Me: No, I'm sorry. The cake is too warm to frost yet. We'll eat it tomorrow.

C: But, Momma, I'm worried. What if it cools off aaaaaaall night, and then it's too cold and the frosting falls right off? I think we'd better eat it tonight, just to be sure.

Sibling Take-Down

Today I took the kids with me to drop H off at a friend's house.

C:  I only wish I had a mom who was only nice all the time.

H:  She IS nice all the time!  You should have seen her when I was your age!

J:  Well, she HAS to be mean sometimes because you're not always very good.

Me:  I don't mind having a kid who isn't only nice all the time!

C:  (mutter mutter mutter)  Well, I still want one that's only nice all the time, even when I'm not!

Forget the Five Second Rule.

C:  Mommy, I'm pretty sure the Bible says not to eat food off the floor.

Me:  Well, it's a good rule, but I don't think the Bible says it.

C:  Sure it does!  Remember that guy Lazarus?  He was hungry and he had sores and no one could touch him and he had no food?  He ate what fell off the rich man's table, but no one should do that!

Maybe she's listening, after all...

Twongue Tisted

As a You Norker, C sometimes has trouble with the beginnings of words.  I don't suppose that's particularly newyique, though.  Surely some other child somewhere in the newyiverse has this problem, too!

Washing Us Clean

God is here to clean up accidents.   That's what the Bible says!

While I like her theology, somehow I think it's a ploy to divert attention from the chocolate cake and whipped cream on the carpet.

What Would The Goldfish Think?

C was looking at her magnetic calendar and said, "Momma, when the February day is over, and the March day, then will you stay home with me?  It will be April then, and it will be rainy, and I want you to stay inside and play with me while it rains.  Please?  I know lots of good games we can play!"

This sounds so very sweet!

It also sounds an awful lot like the beginning of the Cat in the Hat, though...

Rorschach

C (from the dining room):  Look, Momma!  It's chili made of salami!
Me:  Mhm, that's nice...what?
C:  Chili!  Made from salami!
Me:  What??
C (walking to doorway and showing me a piece of salami bitten into a long, thin strip):  See??  Chile, made from salami!
Me:  ...Oh!

Kind of the same thing...

Jand C have a loud, volatile relationship.  If they aren't playing wildly, they're arguing wildly.  Since there isn't a lot of playtime in the homeschool day, much of it is fighting.  Today is no exception.  When things were noticeably calm, I expressed my surprise.

Her answer?  "I'm pretending to be nice to J."

Creation Vs.

C: Mommy, God made everything. Right?
Me: In a manner of speaking.
C: Okay! God made everything. (Thinks for a second.) Oh - except China made some things, too.

A New Name

Lately, when C talks about her daddy, she sometimes refers to him as "that demonstrated nut."

Where does she come up with this stuff?

What A Mess!

C: Momma!! Come up and see this awful mess in the bathroom! Come quickly!!

Me (racing up the steps with all sorts of scenarios flashing through my imagination): COMING!…(seeing nothing extraordinary)…what's wrong?

C: LOOK! Look at that!! Someone used up all the toilet paper and DIDN'T CHANGE THE ROLL!!

Ah. Finally someone understands me!

Why She Loves Me

C wore a short-sleeved dress to church today, and has been running around the house without her sweater all day (against my advice).

It's past bedtime now, and we're just waiting for Daddy to get home so she will go to bed. She climbs up on my lap. We chat for a few minutes about the appeal of Facebook, and then she asks, "Momma, do you know one thing I really do like about you? Really, a lot?"

Me: What?

C (as she pulls my arms around her): You're warm!

Amateur Judge

C, commenting on my homemade pizza:  The bread part was very nice, but the tomato stuff was not good.  For this reason, we had to chop you.

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly

After the bath last night:

C:  Brrrrrrr!  I'm cold!
Me:  Yes!  It's a cold night!  Don't worry.  I'll dry you off really quick!
C:  QuickLY.  You'll dry me off really quickLY, Momma.

The apple don't fall far from the tree, does it?

The Beach Is Nice, Too

...And the obsession with Stack The States continues.

C:  Vermont is Daddy's favorite state!  <side note: she says Vermont now>
Me:  That's nice.  What's your favorite state?
C:  Oh, I like Hawaii!
Me:  Ah!  Me, too.  <Realizing that she can't possibly appreciate a tropical island like I can>  What do you like about Hawaii?
C:  Oh, I like it because it's small…like me!

As if there aren't enough reasons to like Hawaii, now I have one more.  :)

The Baby Is Coming!

C is playing with our nativity advent calendar (I put the rest of the decorations away - don't judge!).  I overhear this:

Suddenly, ANGELS appeared in the sky!  They said, "BeHOOOOOOOLD!!  A new baby has come to town!"

So thankful the birds-and-bees discussion seems to be a long way off!

Guilty As Charged

Me: C, why are you so angry?
C: It's because Jimmy called me "belly." That was rude. And cheating. On purpose.

New game: Stack The Accusations!

Ba-Dum-Ching

Me:  We've got to go!  Please put on your shoes.
C:  I can't find them!  Will you help me?
Me:  Sure.  Where did you wear them last?
C:  On my feet.

Swabbie

C:  Momma, I'm noticing that the mop is taller than I am!
Me:  It sure is!
<C brings the mop into the dining room>
Me:  Please take that back to the kitchen.
C:  Oh.
Me:  What would I do with a mop in my dining room?
C:  Hmmmm…<looks down at the carpet>…be worried!