Sunday, June 22, 2014

Public Eye

Sigh.  My little stinker.

She was in rare form this morning: yelling, complaining, and ordering.  Purely ornery.

We visited another church today.  After an aggravating, bickerful ride in the car, we walked in a few minutes late.

Suddenly she morphed into Angelic Christian Sweetiepie.  

She sang every song, even the ones she didn't know, with energy and feeling.  "Oh, how precious," exclaimed the church ladies in front of us.  

She couldn't sit still, so curled up on my lap with her head peeking over my shoulder.  "Little darling," said the people behind us.  

The message was about being fishers of men.  At one point she laughed loudly and shouted, "he said 'go fish!!'"  All the congregants within four or five pews chuckled at her innocent humor. 

She smiled shyly at people and skipped along the aisle when I told her to come.

Once we got on the road, however, her alter ego re-emerged.  Boss, fuss, complain, yell.

She'll make a great politician one day.

Choices

C, coming downstairs in the morning:  Can I have some Cheetos?
Me:  Not for breakfast.  It's too early.  How about a banana?
C:  No!  I'm not eating healthy food today!

Sigh. Even if I was a morning person, it's too early for this.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Voice Acting

Voice characterization meets Are You My Mother!

C, reading aloud: "Where is my mother?" he said.

She rejects this and tries other options.

(In a high, squeaky voice): "Where is my mother?"
(In a whispery, heavily accented voice): "Verr ees my muddah?"
(In a low, loud, gravelly voice): WHERE IS MY MOTHER?"

She settles on option #2, and the reading continues.

A baby bird sounds an awful lot like a Cold War Russian spy when he whispers, "I haff to find herr! I vill! I VILL!!"

Sunday, June 15, 2014

State of Spoonerism

She knows every state in the union and every country on every continent, but still thinks we live in You Nork.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Don’t Bug Me

Pest control:  she made a sign that says "no bugs" and hung it in the front window.

That oughtta work.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Spelling Attitude

C:  What is the first letter in play?
Me:  P.
C (in a duh voice):  I KNOW.  What is the next letter?
Me:  L.
C (duh voice again):  I KNOW.  What's next?
Me:  A.
C (as before):  I KNOW!  And I know what comes next, too.

No idea where she gets her know-it-all-ness.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Listening Closely

Today I served as an aide in children's church.  The story was about Pentecost.  The teacher used visuals to tell the story, then asked the kids some review questions.

Teacher:  Where did all the people travel to?
Child:  Jerusalem!
Teacher:  That's right!  And why did they go to Jerusalem?
C (covering her ears):  They wanted to know who was making all that noise!!

Friday, June 6, 2014

Reasonable Love

C (giving me a big hug):  I love you SOOOO much!
Me:  I love you so much, too!
C:  Well, at least on this day - because you're making hot dogs.
Me:  Oh...
C:  There isn't any reason to love you that much any other day!  Ha ha!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Inside Out

Tonight she asks what part of her God made first.  She thought it might be her skin.

*****

I told her He made her genetic code first.  Because I'm fun like that.

Safety First

"NOOOO!  No, Jimmy!  You can't do that!  It's MOMMA's job to keep me safe.  NOT YOURS!  So stop trying to keep me safe!!!"

Sigh.  Guess it's time to step in.