A Gand Bircus

C: Hand and...gand! They rhyme!
Me: If only gand was a word. But sand is a word, and it rhymes.
C : And band, and bland, and land! Hmmmmmm...what rhymes with circus?...Oh! I know! Bircus!!!
Me: But that's not a word, either.
C: Yes it is! It's when you have a ball of dodge and you throw it at a bad guy. See? It IS a word!

There you have it, just in time for your next dodge ball game with bad guys!

Give Peace A Chance

Someone pass the heavy-duty earplugs!!!

J is cleaning the living room, loudly "de-duh-de"-ing the song "Eye Of The Tiger." C is following him around with a ladle and plastic container, whacking it and yelling, "Volume control!! YOU NEED VOLUME CONTROL!"

The irony might just kill me. At least my ears will have some peace!

Tattletale

C has some index cards and a pencil. She's making lots of random scribbles on the card.

Me: What are you doing?
C: I'm writing a letter!
Me: What does it say?
C: It says, "Dear Momma, I love you very much! But if you take my toys away I will tell Daddy. But I love you anyway."

I didn't touch the toys - honest!

Oh, my!

C: Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Me: STOP!!

J: C, saying things over and over and over again gets on Mommy's nerves.

C: Oh, dear!!

A New Clean Up Song

J made up a new song for C:

When we spill
We wipe it up
We don't lick it off the table

At least she likes the oatmeal!

Waterbed

Me: C, you need to lie down:
C: But Mommy, I'm imaginationing that my bed is filled with penguins and ducks!

Twinkle Toes - Ouch!

Pass me the Bad Mom Award, please!

I take J to classes every Wednesday. On the way there, C asked to take her shoes off. I told her to wait until we returned home after J's classes were finished.

When we arrived at classes, she again asked if she could take her shoes off. I reminded her that we don't take off our shoes anywhere but at home or outside.

Finally, after about an hour, she said, "Momma, if a girl's feet have sparklies going around and around and around them, don't you think she should be allowed to take off her shoes?"

Then it all hit me in a flash - all the typical "C has suddenly outgrown her shoes" symptoms - severe in-toe-ing, dragging the tops of her shoes along as she walks, walking on her toes. I've been seeing all these symptoms for about a week now (along with frequent requests to remove the shoes) and have ignored them!

I told her to go ahead and take them off, and she was quite upset that the "sparklies" didn't go away, so I had her flex and stretch her toes until she felt better.

Oops!

Fighting Fire With...Something

She plays on my bed while I exercise. Today she had an empty red popcorn bowl upside down on top of her head. Inside the base, she placed a handful of marbles. She stood on the bed so she could see herself in my mirror and rotated her head around to feel the marbles roll.

Me: C, please sit down.
C: But I'm a firefighter!
Me: But firefighters don't stand on the bed!
C: But, Momma, I'm a firefighter!
Me: But firefighters don't fight fires without their pants on!

(I hope I'm right about that!)

*****

Note:  These facts were later verified by an Actual Firefighter.  LOL!

Of Tattoos And Responsibility

On Sunday, C was coloring with markers while one of H's teen friends was at the table with her. It never occurred to me that the friend wasn't watching C until C turned up with colorful tattoos covering both hands and arms and the bottom of one foot.

We had a long instructional session about appropriate use of markers over soap and water.

Today she wanted to use the markers again, so she brought out the box while I sat with her at the table. She's trying very hard to be very good with them, and as proof of such, she's chatting casually with me.

"Momma, it's a beautiful day! It's a lovely day for using markers properly, isn't it?"

Determined To Be Bad

C (having a tantrum): I will never be good again!!
Family: Ha ha ha ha ha!
C: Stop laughing! I AM NOT A STUNT!!!